What lies Below
by Homicidal Honey
Summary: "You should care. You really should. You don't know it yet, but the world is going to go through three apocalypses. Each one is going to be like one of those horrible dystopian teen novels that people like so much. Very soon as a matter of fact." It was then that he felt it. Zim took a step back in modest surprise. He wasn't an expert on humans but he was sure they couldnt do that
1. Chapter 1:Just your average Monday

WHAT LIES BELOW? 

By: Homicidal Honey

***Authors note: From what we've seen from Invader ZIM is that 1) here's a whole lotta zombies going on and 2) that there's an underground classroom under the skool that nobody seems to know anything about**

**Disclaimer: Invader Zim, I feel Sick, and JTHM belong to the big J.V! I own NOTHING. Except for maybe a few OCs. Don't worry it will be few. This is my first ever fan fiction so please ccs and no flames unless it's really, really, REALLY horrible and causes you to projectile vomit. In that case fire away. I personally don't know if I'll do more. Please review so I know what to improve and that some peoples out there are interested***

**Warning: first chapter kinda sucks... what it's my first time ever! Give me a break!**

Chapter 1: Just your average Monday.

"MOVE IT, MOVE IT! OUT OF THE WAY!" a short green thing screamed as he hurtled down a crowded hallway. Skool children were barely able to move before scraping against the small creature. It was a miracle he somehow avoided being thrown against the green lockers that lined its sides since his face was covered by his hands obscuring his view. Had anyone seen his face...well he would rather not think about the consequences.

Instead he focused on using his antennas to "see". He could use his antennae for somewhat different purposes, though in most cases to detect heat, air movement, and vibration caused by sound, touch, even smell. The result was after using his antennae: five elbow jabs, smelling what every single meat sack had for lunch (he wished he hadn't), and a headache. Ugh this HORRIBLE ROCK REEKED with filthy human filth and noise. Never the less, he managed to make it halfway down the abnormally long hallway before hearing a triumphant cry.

"AHA! YOU WON'T GET AWAY THI-What HEY GET BACK HERE! ZIM!"

Zim didn't need to even peek out of his gloved claws to know who it was. Earthinoids had a stench that was usually tolerable but Dib's. Ugh he distinctly smelled a bit like a dying Hogulus.

Must be that gigantic head of his, Zim thought.

Zim was in so much of a hurry he almost missed his exit...or at least he thought it was. It smelled like the equivalent to a waste disposal room. A very, very smelly waste disposal room. He felt himself skid to a halt and charged through one of the two doors.

After hearing a large amount of high pitched screaming and dodging various beauty products Zim managed to crawl out on his knees, eyes down cast still closed hoping no one saw that. He reached up and patted around before removing a tube from the top bump of his black wig. He managed to run through the other door without whacking his face off the wood. Once he got inside he felt his way along the wall until he reached a bathroom stall. Only when he closed and locked the baby blue bathroom door did he open his eyes.

He willed his standard issue PAK on his back to produce his spare contact lenses. His favorites had been practically DESTROYED by the pig smelly Dib on the playground. He would miss them. They were his only pair that didn't scratch his sensitive-yet AMAZING- beetle eyes. Quickly his PAK popped out two human contacts from the large hole in the center of his PAK and Zim caught them in his hand. After a moment of looking at the large lenses that would soon erase any sign of what he really was, his PAK produced a small mirror attached to a metal arm. His PAK knew him better than anyone else since it was programmed with his DNA, biosignature, and personality.

Strange how the only thing keeping me alive was something so cold and unforgiving, Zim thought as he glanced in the mirror. He felt a strange inkling of ease flow through him as he removed his black wig from his head to straighten it. As soon as he did, his black antennae flicked up off the top of his otherwise smooth, scaled, light-pastel green head. They stuck back away from his face sloping slightly upwards then ended suddenly pointing towards the back of his head like the tips had been broken. After a brief pause Zim gave them a crazy wiggle making them look like flapping pool noodles rather than bug antennae. He gave a small chuckle at this with a smirk.

Suddenly the creak of the bathroom door was being opened. Zim gave a rather loud "gah!" quickly put on the wig and retracted the mirror into his gray and pink PAK. He sat on the toilet seat and began to act human.

"Zim is doing human things", Zim sang/screeched as he quickly put the now shaggy wig on his head, "in this human stall doing uhh whatever humans do in here." Hmm what DID humans do in here? He asked to himself. He was in the middle of putting on his contacts when he heard a sharp click of a camera. "Noooo!"

A hand quickly slid from under the stall door and disappeared out of view.


	2. Chapter 2:The Swirly

Chapter 2: The Swirly

Dib looked at his iphone again in joyful disbelief. There was nothing wrong with the picture. It was perfect. It looked up at Zim showing his wig halfway off his head from jumping off the seat with his right eye white with steel blue irises while his other eye was a whole ruby-sapphire complete with facets like that of a fly. This was _proof_. Undeniable proof! Dib grabbed the small latch and flipped it. He flung open the dirty door and found himself looking dead center into the eyes of the alien menace. Dib gave a small gasp jumping back.

"Oh hey...Zim." Dib said an awkward grin painting his face. It was only until he saw the irkens heterochromatic iridium eyes glance at his right hand, still holding the phone that he realized how bad the situation was going to get. Dib hurriedly hid it behind his back. Tucking it into the pocket of his black overcoat. "Uhh..._sooo _how ya' been.._buddy_."

Ugh he had to force out that last part. Zim was intriguing-which was a word that actually had two definitions. The first definition showed him from a naive point of view. Zim was intriguing; Zim was fascinating. Dib had always believed in the paranormal. And here was an alien that landed right in his own town! People like him would kill for a chance to even catch a glimpse of an alien footprint-well no wait. Someone already had but the swollen eyeball never talked about that much. He got to observe him _everyday_!

The second meaning showed his more diabolical side. Zim was always intriguing; making secret plans to do something detrimental. Coming up with evil plans to rule the earth just to give it over to his leaders all gift-wrapped in a shiny bow. He had promised the Moon to his robot! He was constantly trying to destroy the human race-MY RACE! But no one would believe him not without proof. But they'd see. THEY'D ALL-

"HELLOO?! IRK TO DIB PIG." Zim interrupted his flow of thought. Zim still stood in the middle of the doorway. Glaring at him, his expression unchanging. _How long had he been standing here? Apparently long enough to forget why he was here in the first place._

"Uhh I don't uhh." _awk-ward._

"I asked you a question", Zim stated his flat almost emotionless quiet voice, "_What are you holding behind your back in your filthy, little, piggy, thieving human hands?_" Dib felt himself swallow involuntarily. When Zim was angry he never went quiet. He was never went quiet...ever. Come to think of it this was the only time he could remember Zim ever talking to him like this.

"Nothing."

"You lie?"

"I lie?"

"You admitted it-YOU LIE!" Zim screeched pointing a pointy finger at Dib then launched himself at Dib. Okay this is expected. Dib quickly sidestepped and Zim ended up face first in the toilet. He knew there was only one thing to do. Zim pulled his head out of the toilet bowl about to take a breath to scream in agony only to find himself drowning again. Dib had done what every single bully had done to him for 6 years since Kindergarten. He had grabbed a hold of Zim's head, pushed it into the filthy toilet bowl and then flushed the toilet. Dib Membrane, for the first time in his life, was giving a swirly to someone else. And better yet to an alien! _This. Day. Is. AWESOME_! He could feel Zim thrash around wildly like a greased chicken foot (don't ask how he knew). Dib let Zim up for a brief moment to give false hope then suddenly pushed his head harder down into the toilet continuing to flush. _Wow, no wonder other people do this to me, Dib thought, this is great!_

Suddenly Dib heard the loudspeaker echo through the Skool. The Principal's spooky batmanish voice echoed throughout the Skool. "_If Dib Membrane and Zim no-last-name are still inside the building, please head to Miss. Bitters classroom immediately__. Oh and if anyone sees a large glowing radioactive slug please use a stick and poke it back to the cafeteria."_

_The classroom? Oh no._

"My proof!"Dib suddenly released Zim's head ignoring the irken twitching and screaming spasmodically on the grey floor. There was no time to gloat. Dib raised his head and eyes to the sky," THERE'S ONLY TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT I'M NOT INSANE! AND I'M TALKING OUT LOUD AGAIN!"

Dib quickly lowered his arms and raced out of the bathroom down the hall. _First getting to hit Zim in the face with a soccer ball at recess, then getting his contacts, THEN getting to give Zim a swirly AND PROOF THAT HE WAS AN ALIEN?! THANK YOU UNIVERSE! This is the best day of my life!_


	3. Chapter 3:PERVERTS & LIARS

Chapter 3: Perverts and Liars

Once his body had stopped twitching and his body had stopped burning, Zim managed to pull himself of the floor. He nursed his wounds the horrible toilet squid had given his head. His wet fake hair wouldn't stay out of his face and curl up on his head like it used too. Each drop of that horrid liquid stung as if vinegar had been poured over open wound. Even his long sleeved pink tunic, knee length black boots and pants were smoking from the contact wherever the small droplets touched. _What was it Dib had screamed a while ago? Something about proof? _Zims wondered. He couldn't hear very well since he had been screaming. His eyeballs opened wide. _Oh __no._ Zim leaped off the floor and called, GIR using a strange intercom attached to a metal arm his PAK, thankfully, provided. "GIR, are you there? Answer me!"

"Yes Sir!" answered a very serious robotic monotone voice.

"GIR, I need you to prepare the cruiser just in case you got that?!"

"_Slurpslurp-_Wha?" a very confused alto voice answered back. Zim face palmed. He HATED that GIR couldn't stay in duty mode and switched back and forth-almost always -at random. It made his mission so much harder.

"Just warm up the voot. AND THATS AN ORDER!" Zim screeched.

"Yes Si-OOOH the scary neighbor man is back! HI NNY-NNY!"

"I told you don't call me that!" rang a very different tenor voice.

At this point Zim just gave up, put on his contacts, and retracted the intercom. And decided to visit the freak who lived down the street tomorrow to try to erase his brain...again. He sprinted through the hallway like nobody's business. Panic held a knife to his throat as he ran, urging him on. His squigleyspooch was doing cartwheels. He ran into the classroom to find Dib standing on top of the teachers' desk waving his arms wildly holding up a small white rectangle with a picture of-gasp-him!

"I don't understand! Why won't you look!? IT PROVES THAT-"

"YOUR A PERVERT!" someone from the classroom shouted. The rest of the class proceeded to boo and yell at Dib who just stood there in shock with his mouth open. His pale skin turning blooming pink. That gave Zim horrible idea.  
"OH WHY ME", Zim moaned loudly trudging into the classroom to his desk by the door. All eyes were on the sad soaked little green boy with crocodile tears streaming down his cheek. "WHY DOES THE DIB STINK HURT ZIM SO?!" he dropped his head with a loud thump against the desk.

The whole class gave Zim pitying looks and a few girls even gave a few soft aww. Dib just stood there on top of Miss. Bitters desk outraged but silent.

"You okay Zim?" Zita the purple haired girl who sat behind him asked. Her voice sounding concerned. _ITSWORKING ITSWORKINGYES! _Zim thought triumphantly, never letting it show through his face.

" Zim was just playing soccer at recess like any other earthworm when suddenly the FILTHY DIBSTINK hit the ALMIGHTY ZIM in the face with the ball of black and white spots. I ran crying from the monster when I found a bathroom stall to hide in. After drying my cold tears of umm-teary tear fluids, I heard the Dib bang the stall door open. He took a picture of me then he accused ME of being an alien then proceeded to plunge my head in the toilet and beat me up! Pitiful meany human! WHY?"

"WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM DIB!" screamed the letter M. "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FREAK?"

Soon the entire classroom was throwing things at Dib while Zim chuckled evilly.

"Enough of this!" Ms. Bitters roared standing up. All the objects hovered floating in midair as she rose her dark dress elongating as she towered over the other brats in the class. The objects in midair burst into flames spontaneously. Everyone in the class froze waiting for their sentence. Miss. Bitters resembled a praying mantis in a way with her large eyes hidden behind even larger shiny silver glasses, tall figure, her pinched old bitter face and the way she could snap at any moment and freak you crapless. "Dib go to the guidance counselor for brainwashing after today's lesson on cheese and I want to see your father here afterschool for a conference! Zim you are to stay after school and write 'I will not be a complete wimpy loser.' on every board in the school. Now both of you shut up!"

Dib got off her desk mumbling something about the universe while trying to ignore the hateful glares his classmates were giving him, while Zim wondered how to best erase the brains of that wacky 'scary neighbor man' a few houses down the street and how to sneak out without being caught. Maybe he'd visit the little boy next door again for his research. The worm baby was actually pretty good company and an AMAZING guinea pig.

*Authors note: PSYCH! NO GOOD DAY FOR YOU! Okay now we are going to pick up the story line m'kay? Remember to review. Flames? What the heck-BRING IT ON I'M ON A ROLL!*


	4. Chapter 4: Blackmail

Chapter 4: Blackmail

"Ms. Bitters?"

"Yes Dib?"

"Uh." Dib didn't really know how to say this but sitting here for 30 minutes doing nothing was getting tedious. "My dad, he works at Membrane Industries and he hardly ever has time to do this kind of 'parenting' stuff so can I just go home?"

"Oh trust me, Dib; your Father is going to come. Whether he likes it OR NOT!" Ms. Bitters muttered cryptically. _Wonder what she meant by__that,_ he thought. His father, Professor Membrane, was the world's greatest and most brilliant mind in the entire world. He never really seemed to have time for his children.

His theories always correct, his inventions benefitting mankind and making the world a better place had made it impossible for him to meet women who were interested in him NOT because he was rich at the time from success. *So instead he decided to do reproductive cloning. After 9 months, the result had been him and his little sister Gaz.

_I wonder if Dad's mad at me?_ , Dib wondered. His dad could be embarrassed with him but the only time he had really been mad at him was when he had read the file D. D. in his lab…and of course when he had created a few zombies. That had been the only time his dad had ever really been mad at him. And the only time he ever remembered his dad saying-_wait what's that smell? Ugh smells like a sulfur and gasoline fart!_ Dib gagged and held his nose. He turned and saw his father strut into the doorway.

Professor Membrane was one of those people who could walk into a room and make everyone stare at him without trying. He was tall but not too tall, with dark black obsidian hair that always had that strange scythe like piece stick up and point back towards the back of his head like Dibs did except on Dib it made him look weird. On his Dad it made him look handsome. He had a poise that Dib always associated with the _El Chupacabra_. Strong, sturdy, and radiating confidence. He was wearing, like always, his white lab coat that hid his mouth, black rubber gloves and boots, and lab goggles that hid his eye color.

"Sorry for being late, Ms. Bitters. But there was an accident in my lab. One of the interns-"

"TAKE A SEAT!" Ms. Bitters roared. Professor Membrane took a seat quickly next Dib, eyebrows raised. Dib noticed the entire back of his lab coat was smoking and charred.

"Son, what did you do now?" Professor Membrane asked him curtly. Dib felt his pale cheeks turn pink.

"I'll tell you what your son did." Ms. Bitters interjected before Dib could reply. _Oh dear god, here it comes. _Dib hung his head down and stared at the grey desk in front of him, pushing up his glasses. "He deliberately hit one of his fellow students, Zim, in the face with a soccer ball during the end of recess. He then stalked him down the hallway into the boys bathroom calling him an alien, took a picture of him going to the bathroom and then gave the boy a swirly along with severe head injuries."

_Wow…I seriously sound perverted. Maybe I am a pervert. _Dib could feel his fathers' shocked gaze on him. He shifted uncomfortably in his desk looking down. He could feel his pink cheeks spread throughout his entire face turning into a perfect crimson.

"SON! Why would you even-I don't…_why_? I know your _insane_ but you've just crossed a whole new dimension into _pervy_!" his father sputtered with shocked exasperation. Dib felt ashamed. Professor Membrane was incredibly busy, so busy sometimes he forgot he even had a son. _But always a daughter, _Dib thought bitterly as his father continued to talk to him, his exasperation turning to annoyance back to exasperated disbelief_, Gaz is his funny child, the darling, the dear daughter. I'm just the crazy, poor, sad little embarrassment. Does Dad even know how _creepy _Gaz really _is_? She's like an evil ghost! She _never _gets caught doing anything wrong. Heck she told me she nearly _killed _a dude named Higgins with an elevator or something for a video game._

"Mr. Membrane. I hate to interrupt your little 'father-son stare down' thing." Ms. Bitters said sarcastically, "But its 3:42. And I really don't want to be here in this pitiful establishment any longer than I have to."

Dib came out of his reverie to find his Dad looking at him on the floor kneeling like he was about to propose, hands on his knee looking him straight in the eye. Dib had never seen his father look at him like this before. He never looked so exhausted or sad even…disheveled. Dib felt his eyes widen. Professor Membrane _did_ look bad. His hair usually slick with some sort of oil was duller with grey hairs scattered throughout the head and a two black strands fell into his face. His warm vanilla face had less color. Dib was surprised he could barely see through the goggles and for an instant he saw bloodshot hazel eyes. Dib instantly felt even more ashamed for thinking those horrible thoughts about him. His Dad _did _care about him in his own way.

He always set aside one day of the year where they would spend the entire night together without any interruptions, no random paging telling Dad that 'the world needed his brilliant mind!' or 'The squid has escaped!' (The one who did would be fired out of a cannon into the city sewage), and for one single evening they would be a family. When Zim captured him on family night and held him hostage, Gaz had told him after his rescue that when Dad found out that he was still missing that he nearly canceled family night because he wouldn't have it without him. He also wouldn't give the world unlimited energy because when he had refused to start the ceremony until his kids were present, everyone screamed that they didn't want to wait for some brats to show up and someone threw a cup at his head. _He cares…just…he has a lot on his mind right now._ Dib thought. All this passed in an instant and Dib found himself hanging his head again …though for a different reason now.

"I suppose so." Professor Membrane sighed looking down at the floor.

"Good because while we were waiting for you to SHOW UP _I_ went down the hall and had a little chat with the guidance office and the principal. We've decided it may be in the best interests of students and everybody else, except Dib of course, for him to be moved to the _underground classrooms_."

At the phrase 'underground classroom' his Dads head shot up and he was immediately on his feet leaning over his teachers mahogany desk gripping the edges. _Today has to be the most revealing day of my life._ His Dad quietly spoke, so softly then growing slowly in volume, "My son…is _not _going into that _death pit_ you even have the _audacity_ to call a _classroom _and if you even do…well we both know that this school is on its last limb and that if I pull my funding you and everyone of those idiots here will be jobless! Do you understand?" concluded angrily pounding his fist on the desk.

_Oh…my…god. My Dad is freaking awesome!_ Dib thought admiringly. He had seen Professor Membrane take charge in the lab, make dramatic speeches on his TV show and conventions, even seen him smack the head off a zombie but he had never ever thought he'd see the day that his Dad-Dr. Professor Membrane-would be blackmailing his teacher 5th grade teacher. Ms. Bitters let out a noise that was a mix between a feral growl and a snake hiss. She slowly rose from her desk leaning over towards his father. Both continued to stare at each other unmoving. If Membrane was scared he certainly didn't show it.

"Fine! There is another option but your not going to like it." Ms. Bitters growled. "Your son will have to control himself during school hours. What he does after school is going to be limited because we want him to see a registered psychiatrist or therapist of some kind and each day to bring a slip to the secretary from this doctor."

"For how long?" Professor Membrane asked.

"DAD!"

"Until he stops being a creepy pervert. Regular crazy we can tolerate. We here believe it prepares children for the real world and helps them build a tolerance. But perverts have no place in this world." _Build a tolerance? That's the biggest load of lies I've ever heard. _They continued to stare each other down. Neither one was willing to break the silence.

"Fine. Son, we're leaving. Get your stuff and let's go." Membrane stood back from the desk fist clenched in controlled rage. Dib got up and walked behind his father eyes downcast.

"Dad I-"

"Later Son. We'll talk about it _later_."

Author's note:  
*I'm serious. One of the people on the writing panel said they had hoped to include this idea of Dib and Gaz as clones in one of the episodes but the show was canceled so it never happened. Oh and uh for those of you who don't know what reproductive cloning is its when you take a human females DNA and a males DNA and fuse them in the human females cell. But who's the technical mother you ask?! I will give you one hint. Who in the universe of Jhonen Vasquez has a friend whose name starts with T and has her own short comic book? *


	5. Chapter 5:Delicious sausage-y misery

Chapter 5: Delicious sausage-y misery

Zim walked into Ms. Biter's classroom surprisingly happy. He had just watched Dib sulk solemnly behind his parent drone. Zim always got a kick out of seeing the scumbag's pain. It was so delicious… like sausage. He strut straight up to Ms. Biter's desk and leaped onto the top giving the scary lady hands on his hips in triumph.

"Scary teacher lady, I have finished the task at hand and I think you'll find the work _quite_ satisfactory." Zim bragged, head rose to the sky, "Now if you could remove this…thingy from my wrist, I'd like to go home now."

"Really? That was fast." Ms. Bitters said the slightest disbelief tainting her tone.

"Oh uh yeah I'm uh really good at moving my wrists around and uhh doing stuff." Zim lied, pulling out thoughts as they came. What had happened was he had used the standard spiders legs to do all the work. All he did for the past 45 minutes was read some of the old textbooks over and over again. They were very boring and incorrect. _The planets did not just 'poof' there. Stupid idiots._

"Hmm…show me your collar."

"What?" Zim blinked confused.

"When you wrote on the chalkboards, the sensors in the chalkboard felt you write on them. I can count how many chalkboards you wrote on." She explained impatiently. Zim held out his wrist. The metal cuff was really nothing to fancy. It was just a heavy grey bracelet with a blinking red light on the side to Zim. _She said it would blow me up if I fiddled with it! She lied to my face that __little pitiful__-Oh wow. _Ms. Bitters had taken his black, gloved hand and pushed down on the cuff. A small metal flap opened up to reveal a compartment. Inside was a complex circuit board with numerous wires and buttons. In the center was a counter.

"You lied to me."

"What? No I didn't! Your lying mouth lies!" Zim shouted indignantly.

"There are 40 chalkboards in Skool, 36 above and 4 below. You've only done the upper level. GO BELOW!" Ms. Bitters screeched, pointing towards a tiled square in front of her desk.

Zim followed her narrow finger and raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Um…how?"

"Like this." Ms. Bitters stated. Zim felt himself shoved forward and falling through the floor.

_**Cliffhanger! Will Dib get his therapist? Will Zim make it out alive? Where am I going with this file marked D.D? Will there be more JTHM interactions in the future. The answers will be revealed as soon as I know them myself.**_


	6. Chapter 6:Shri-Lakshmi

**Authors Note:**  
**I'm back! **** Review so I know what you like or don't. Constructive criticism is**  
**appreciated though just saying 'this sucks man.' Isn't really helping my writing**  
**skills. That's right I'm looking at you! You know who you are, you were thinking of**  
**writing it!**  
**Warning: this chapter is very long mainly because it's professor membranes POV**  
**and contains a flashback.**

Chapter 6: Shri-Lakshmi's sickness

Professor Membrane couldn't feel the steering wheel under his gloves. He couldn't feel the cushions in the car seat. All he could feel was exhaustion. He couldn't do this anymore. He physically couldn't do it. It was too emotionally draining. Professor Membrane sighed and looked at his two kids in the back seat. Gaz was playing her GS2 while Dibs head hung dejectedly. Professor Membrane sighed. God he loved them so much but. .. he felt an involuntary groan come from his chest. Why did Dib have to be so ... difficult?

"Son? You still haven't answered me." Membrane asked looking into the rearview mirror. Dib looked up from the floor in surprise.

"What?" Dib asked. Membrane let out a small sigh. His son was like him in most ways, like his mother in others. His head was always in the clouds or somewhere in La La land. He repeated himself. "Oh uh well. Oh how do I explain this hmm- HE'S AN ALIEN! I was gathering proof!"

Membrane finally snapped.

"Enough Son, ENOUGH! Enough with the monsters, zombies, werewolves, vampires AND ESPECIALLY ALIENS! No one has ever found proof, no one has ever found anything conclusive and no on ever will because-THEY-DO-NOT- EXIST. You will drop all this nonsense, GROW UP and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY! God its like your-OHMYGODAMIME!" He jerked the steering wheel sharply to the right. A body flew over the hood of the car and over the side. Professor Membrane slammed on the brakes. Everybody in the car was completely silent. Gaz and Dib turned around in their seat looking out the back window both eyes wide open like moons._ Oh my god I killed a mime_. "Is he dead?"

"I don't know Dad ... he's too quiet." Dib said softly.

Professor Membrane turned in his seat to face Dib. He raised his eyebrows, "Really? A mime joke?"

"Dad, the mimes alive." Gaz plainly stated as the mime got up and started walking away.

"Yes I can see that Gaz." He turned in his seat and drove off. _Ah Gazette, you're so beautiful. You're so much like your mother._ They drove in silence until they pulled into the driveway in their small suburban neighborhood. Their houses deep blue paint contrasted nicely with the now orange sky. He opened the blue car door strode to the doorway, his children following like ducklings. Professor Membrane twisted open the knob and hummed a little as he walked in to the house. He remembered why he was so mad before in the car.

"Son, go to your room until the shrink gets here. Honey, be a good girl." ProfessorMembrane then walked out of entryway, into the kitchen and down the basement steps. He walked past the bare brick walls to a filing cabinet near the steps. He pulled open the top most drawers and reached for the file in the back. He read the file in the back, O. O. Oh god how he missed Devi so much. He'd been meaning to call her for years now to see how she was doing but. .. he truly couldn't bring himself to do that either.

What if she is still crazy? What if she's moved on?

He sighed taking the file upstairs to the round table in the middle of the kitchen. He flipped open manila folder, pulling a chair up behind him. On the first page was a snapshot of a pale woman with natural purple hair, piercings and heavy black eyeliner. Her eyes were brilliant amber shells in a sea of white foam. He picked up the picture gingerly with his black gloves. Even though it had been 10 years since she had rejected him he could still remember the day they meet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
"Sir, maybe we should just give up."

"Nonsense you infernal intern! We will not 'give up' because she's out there ... somewhere", Professor Membrane sighed looking at the folders. Not one woman had shown up that would have good genetic material. They were either stupid, had a prison record, or were crazy raving lunatics who came in and told him that he was violating the greatest rule in the bible or whatnot. He wasn't trying to be picky but SCIENCE demanded a perfect biological mate. Plus he was creating his children. It would be nice if the mother played a part in their lives. The few good ones that showed up were either horrible in social etiquette or wouldn't be compatible with his DNA. "How many more are left?" he asked the intern with the blue lab coat whose name he couldn't remember. The intern looked down at his clipboard.

"We've done 36 and that leaves us with ... 67 left." The intern replied looking up from the clipboard he held. Membrane put is face in his hands. "Cheer up sir! It'll be over soon. I mean some guys would dream of meeting women who deliberately wanted to have sex with them."

Professor Membrane gritted his teeth, "I'm not having sex with them. I'm reproducing genetically similar clones of me and the woman of my choosing."

The intern blinked, "You mean ... like sex?"

Professor Membrane just pointed to the door in the small square office opposite of the desk. "Just go get the next woman and leave me the hell alone."

The intern walked over to the door and hollered out into the waiting room. "15? 15, your up!"

"Isn't it a little ... oh I don't know ... demeaning to be called in like we're in line at Giant Eagle?" a woman voice answered back.

"Look do you wanna come in or not?" the intern replied impatiently.

"To be honest I don't but my friends pressured me into this." Professor Membrane heard the clicking of boots as she got up and walked towards the door. Professor Membrane spun around in his swivel chair so that the girl couldn't see him. The intern did as he was instructed to do and closed the door loudly as soon as the woman walked through the door. As soon as he heard the woman jump he would spin around for "big reveal" as he liked to call it. It didn't really affect the way they looked but it did make the process more interesting. He waited for the jump or squeak of some kind but it never came. Instead he heard the woman make an annoyed "huh." then sit down in the chair in front of the desk. Now or never, he thought. He spun around in his chair.

His first thought about the woman? Oh, look her hair is purple. His second? Holy _shit_. If he had been asked to describe the woman in front of him he would've said supper model meets that-creepy-goth-punk-that-hangs-out-behind-the-ma ll. Her body was slender but not ridiculously skinny like that super model had been earlier. Her skin was an ivory white until it reached the cheekbones where the subtlest of rose pink bloomed underneath her skin and swept towards her cheekbones before slowly fading. She had an angular face with angular features and two piercings on her ears. Her hair was a deep purple and was cut into a pixie bob. Her eyes were masked with heavy eyeliner. Her eyes were brilliant amber brown that flashed and taunted him even as he was staring. But what really set her apart was her poise. Even sitting on a lowly folding chair she held herself with a certain stature; politely stiff yet perfectly at ease. She wore a purple top with a black tank underneath with black pants and black boots. She was a queen. She was an angel, a Gothic Angel.

_Oh. My. God. Is this what love at first sight is? What it really is?_

"Uh hello? If you're done staring at me I'd like to go now." The woman said in atone that indicated she was used to being extolled. Membrane jerked back into reality. Membrane flipped through the papers on the clipboard embarrassed.

"What? Oh yeah." he coughed scanning over the resume. "So ... Devi Durga? That's Hindu right?"

"Why yes, yes it is. It's funny ... you're the only one who has ever got that." Devi's eyes widened in surprise with what looked like a smile crept into her face. "Are you a Hinduist?"

"Oh no. I read myths and things like that for a dose of culture and entertainment. I can respect that people have their beliefs and things like that but science is my religion. It isn't good to believe in things without proof. It leads to delusions and a loss of better judgment." Professor Membrane explained. She had 2 goddess names in her name ... was she a-? He narrowed his brow. "Are_ you_ a Hindu-ist?"

"No but my great grandparents were. Personally I have no true religion. All religions are guidelines for how to be a better person and are all interconnected in some way or another. To belong to one is to belong to all in a way so you could say I believe everything and nothing." Devi explained nodding.

He decided to make a list of positive and negative things about her on her resume. Just because she has a fascinating ... well everything doesn't make her a good person. Professor Membrane told himself, Wait and see it through to the end Membrane. Nevertheless he found himself enjoying her company. "So how do you feel about this?"

"How do I feel about this as in the situation we're in right now or how do I feel about this experiment?"

"Hmm both I suppose." Professor Membrane responded, leaning forward in his chair. The more this woman talked, the more intrigued he felt towards her. Also the more puzzled he became as to why this woman was interested in this sort of work.

"Well as for the situation we're in right now I think that it is degrading to be called in like we're waiting for a pizza instead of coming in to talk about creating a child with another human being. As to how I feel about the experiment well ... " She paused with a shrug before continuing, "I think it's amazing to think of creating another human being. However I think it'lIlead to designer babies. It'll be a sad world where babies are made to order instead of imperfect and beautiful like they should be."

Membrane gave a small whistle, "Wow. Wait if you personally feel this way, why are you here? No offense but, you don't seem like the type of person that could be forced to do something she didn't want to do."

He thought he saw a flicker of fear flash in her eyes but as soon as he saw that it vanished. "I don't know actually. Anything's better than staying at home. My friends Tenna and Tonja both thought it would be fun thing to do. Personally I think my conscience talked me into it. My conscience has been speaking out a lot lately." Devi drifted off silently. She gave a small chuckle, "You know what my friend-Tenna, thought reproductive cloning was ... sex. I had to explain to her for five minutes straight that it wasn't sex. Can you believe that?"

"Yes." Professor Membrane said flatly. Devi gave him a quirky look. "But what do you mean 'better than staying at home'? You say that like you don't want to go back."

"Maybe I don't. I really don't know what's what anymore." Devi droned out dismally in exasperation and -what sounded like- defeat. She gave out a small sigh and hung her head. "If I told you the truth you'd think I was insane."

"Well, you put down you're an artist right?" He asked.

"Yes and?"

"Lets assume its all part of the artistic process or what not." Devi made a small sad smile at that, making him feel warm inside.

"Professor Membrane, its time to switch." The intern walked in surprisingly perkily. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you have to-"

"No. Leave us." Membrane found the words leaving his mouth without ever remembering thinking them. Two faces stared back at him both with mingled surprise. "Tell the rest to go home that is Devi, if you want to do this. I won't force you to if you don't want to." Please let her say yes, please let her say yes. He silently begged the universe in his head.

Devi shifted awkwardly in her chair. She stared at the floor, then at him, then at the painting that hung behind him. Her eyes took on a blank expression as she spoke. "Yes. I want this. Lets get started."

"Great! I'll tell everyone else to go home then." The intern said smiling. He turned and strode through the door, "Ladies who wants to come home with me tonight?"

Professor Membrane face palmed and turned to Devi in annoyance. He froze when he saw her face. "I know what to do. Thank you Professor Membrane." Her voice had a soft oily edge to it. She stood up eyes fixed upon the painting.

"Devi. Are you all right? Devi!" Professor Membrane walked around the mahogany desk, reaching for her wrist. As soon as he touched her she exploded. She grabbed his wrist and twisted pulling him down. He felt her elbow in his back and suddenly he was on the floor. He groaned, heaving himself up. _Oh my back. Note to self:Never surprise Devi._

"What? OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OKAY?" Devi gasped in ... shock? What that didn't make any sense. She had her hands cupped over her mouth. She bent down next to him trying to help him up. "It was me wasn't it? I am so sorry. I just. .. ugh this is why I don't go out. Bad things happen. Ever since I met him."

"I don't want to put a damper on your soliloquy but I think you dislocated a disk. Ow." Professor Membrane half hauled, half dragged himself into the folding chair. He looked up at Devi. Devi was leaning against the desk, her cheeks a burning crimson, eyes downward.

"I am so, so sorry." She softly whispered. Devi looked up. Her heavy mascara was starting to drip from the tears that were flowing from her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling biting her lips. "I-I thought that since it had been a while that maybe I wouldn't be sick but-" She bit her lips and looked down. "Don't worry. I'm not going to bother you-"

"Devi. Enough." He had to interrupt before she burst out running. Devi froze. He leaned back into the chair. He couldn't keep the slight disgust from his voice. "Clearly you've got problems. Don't dwell on them like this. It always leads to the worst of things. It creates a delusion that you are the center of the universe but no one is. There are people worse off than you Devi. There will always be. I don't know what's been going on Devi, but instead of acting like this help yourself, do something about it. You're better than this

." He slowly stood up, wincing all the way to Devi, where he offered her a tissue. "Now calm down, take some deep breaths and wipe your eyes. You're starting to look like a clown with your mascara running like that."

Devi took the tissue and wiped her eyes. Wiping made it worse however, and ended up making her look more like a raccoon. He couldn't help but laugh, earning him a deadly glare on Devi's part. But that only made it worse.

"What exactly is your problem? Do you have personality disorder or something?" she spat crossing her arms. He could hear her tapping her black boots against the carpet. "Well? You going to laugh at my pain some more?"

"What no, no just. .. do you have a mirror?" he was able to wheeze out when he was calm enough. Devi pulled out a small makeup mirror from her pocket and flipped it open. Her face went slack.

"Oh my god. I look like a fucking raccoon."

That was it. He couldn't hold it back. He collapsed to the floor clutching his sides. Soon Devi joined him on the floor from laughing so much.

He wished it had ended there. He wished they hadn't continued to see each other. He wished he hadn't told her he loved her. Maybe she wouldn't have left without a trace. Maybe ... she would've come to the lab and been with him instead of at her apartment when... _Enough membrane. Don't make yourself a hypocrite_. Membrane pulled himself out of his funk. He flipped to the back where a small business card was paper clipped. Unhooking it gently, he studied it. Devi had disappeared from his life but one of her friends hadn't. Maybe she could help Dib.

I should probably go see if he's okay. He tucked the business card in his pocket and strode out of the kitchen, leaving the file on the kitchen table. He headed through the arch and made his way up the steps. He gazed down at little Gazette playing her video games in the living room. Maybe she'll be a designer. He moved his way down the hall to the second door on the left. He found Dibs room deserted with the window open. Panic flowed through him. "SON!"

"Yes?"

Membrane whirled around and saw nothing. He took a few steps into the room hands behind his back. "So you finally finished that invisibility serum, have you now?"

"What? No that was a dead end. I accidently discovered a cure for liver spots though. I'm on the roof."

"Son, nothing good comes from being on top of roofs. Get off the roof and into your room." Membrane ordered shaking his head at the ceiling.

"How do I know you're not going to hand me over to some white suit crazy people? I'm not crazy," he stated defiantly. Professor Membrane sighed and leaned his head out the window. He could see his pale face reflected in Dibs glasses. Dib scowled and disappeared. Membrane sighed. "You're going to make me come up there, aren't you?"

"Alright I'm coming up." Membrane started climbing out the window. He balanced himself precariously on the window sill.

"Woah, wait seriously?" Dibs head popped up out in disbelief. He calculated the distance from the sill to the the gutter. His son pulled a white rectangle out and held it camera lens forward towards him. Membrane froze eyeing the device with what was curious confusion.

"Son, what is that?" Membrane asked his brow narrowing.

"My iphone."

"Well yes but what are you doing with it?" Membrane asked impatiently.

"Oh I'm videotaping this. Youtube." Dib answered nonchalantly.

Membrane raised an eyebrow. "Thank you, Son. So glad to see you care about my well being." Leaping, he grabbed the side of the house and used the momentum to swing his legs over the gutter, rolling onto the roof.

"Hey, I was concerned." Dib protested looking at his phone slightly disappointed. "I had 911 on speed dial." Dib sighed putting the phone into his pocket. He rose from his knees heading over to the center of the roof. All around there were papers, charts, and even something that looked like a microwave with a radio antenna attached to it. Dib sat in the middle of the mess, pulling his waistcoat around him.

"Son, what is all this?" Membrane pulled himself up and walked over. The papers were littered with complex equations that seemed to be calculating coordinates. He sat down next his son and picked up one. This one seemed to be the finished equation. The answer was RA 2h 31m 49s. Dib took the paper from his hands.

"I've been trying to figure out where exactly planet Irk is. I was able to retrieve some information from Taks ship before it went AWOL on me but not all of it." Dib pushed up his glasses. He pointed towards the spot near the Polaris star. "I think that I got it right this time. I've done so much research. It should be in the same solar system as Polaris."

Oh, my poor insane son, Professor Membrane thought. He pulled Dib into the crook of his arm, pulling him close. "Son? Why on earth do you believe all this _nonsense_? Your smart enough to skip grades, even work with me in the lab yet you believe all THIS."

Dib pulled himself out of his embrace and began pacing back and forth before standing hands on his hips while Membrane dialed the number for the shrink, barely listening to a word his son said.

Dib began to pace back and forth before standing hands on his hips while Membrane dialed the number for the shrink. "Dad ever since I was born, I've noticed everything. I've seen and heard things that nobody else notices and when I try to explain they think I'm crazy! I'm not crazy Dad. I know I've got something big planned for me. I'm the earth's only defense against enemies from beyond. My destiny's not on earth, Dad, its beyond that, over the stars!" Dib gestured dramatically at the star-studded sky while Professor Membrane talked on the phone. Closing it, he took Dibs hand and pulled him close so that their faces were an arms length apart.

"Son, I really need you to listen to me. You can not keep doing this." Professor Membrane stressed. He grabbed his sons' shoulders. "The consequences will be dire! I won't be able to get you out."

Dib gave his a doubtful look. "Dad, with you everything's dire."

"Ugh." Membrane drawled. "Just promise me you'll at least try to keep it down. Okay?" he squeezed his son's shoulders, begging him to understand. Dib looked sadly at the grey shingles beneath their feet. For a long while they just stood like that. Membrane patiently kept his face a mask of concern, while silently begging for him to understand and follow through. Finally he was rewarded with a quiet,  
"Yes Sir."

You have no idea how happy I am that you're going to try. Now lets get off this roof." Membrane stood up pointing to the sky. He turned on heel and headed towards the gutter. He looked over his shoulder to see Dib following after him, looking down. Good idea too, since the roof was a slippery place. He lowered himself down, gripping the sides, landed on the narrow ledge and stooped through the window. He leaned out just in time to see Dib slip from the gutter. He stretched out his arms and caught his screaming son by the neck of his overcoat. "And that son," he said dropping Dib on his bed, "is why we don't play on the roof. The therapist will be here in a few minutes, Son. Try not to break your neck while I'm not here."

"Wait you mean," Dib hopped off the bed, disappointment laced his voice, "n-not staying?"

Membrane turned in surprise. "Why no. I'm needed back at the lab. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." Dib looked down at the floor. Membrane went over to him and ruffled his hair making the scythe like piece of hair stick up like a porcupine.

"Alright. I'll be back soon. And Son ... stay off the roof."

**Authors note: Did you like it? Don't worry we'll be seeing Zim next chapter ... he might not**  
**be alive but don't worry you'll be seeing him. And now a quote from JTHM to entertain**  
**you: "You are all zombie thigh-fat people brought into reanimation by some evil force of**  
**forceful evil!" Later gators. Remember to review****_._**


	7. Chapter 7:In the Dark of the night-

Chapter 7: In the dark of the night-

**Halloos? IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?  
**

"Ugh…my head." He rubbed his aching head, certain that there must be bleeding. _Great_, he thought, _I'm alone in the dark and I'm going to bleed to death and-_eh_? The dark?_ He opened and closed his eyes. At least he thought he was opening and closing them. Opened or closed what did it matter! There was no light. There was only nothing. He felt him curl into himself. He knew the vastness of space. He knew it only looked empty but there were things there. _This…'darkness' is new. There is no hope of something being here. There is only the ever-waking nightmare of not knowingness.__**I have to get out of here!**_ He flailed around scuttling small nameless objects, trying desperately to escape the emptiness that surrounded him. He carried on like this for a while before running straight into a…something.

He fell back. He lay there trying to control his panic. _You were trained for this_, he told himself_, and you're an invader. You don't get _scared_. You don't _feel _at all. You are an invader. You are the great invader Zim._ Zim rolled onto his sqiggley-spooch and listened. There was nothing but his soft pants echoing off around him.

_Think Zim. Think_, he told himself. _Echoes mean that there are infinite amounts of empty space of course, he answered. But echoes must bounce off what for there to truly be an echo? So I must be…in a containment unit or even worse underground. _Zim pushed off the unusual floor of where ever he was_. Lets solve this puzzle._ He pulled his night vision goggles out of his PAK. What he saw through them however made him immediately shift gear.

He was in an office. Dusty brown walls made of stone and dirt surrounded him on four sides. A fancy desk of shiny rock with a matching leather chair stood in front of a broken wooden chair in the center. A stone door made of stone lay hidden behind a curtain of what looked like steel chains. Turning he realized the office was more like a large walk in closet than an actual room. Zim rushed forward and pushed against it. The stone door stood still unwilling to move. Zim pounded and kicked brutally at it. The door still stood unwilling to move. Zim felt rage burn into his chest.

"You **DARE **try to make a **fool **out of_**ZIM**_**, DOOR? HA! Prepare to meet your laser-y fate.**" He extracted his spider legs and fired lasers from the tips. "**YEEEAAAAAAH**!" A cloud of dust erupted covering the mighty invader head to thorax in dirt. He sputtered against the insolent dust. When the dust settled the door remained unscathed. Zim gave an angry growl before turning round. He then ran and kicked the door for good measure. Ignoring the throbbing pain in his toes he made hobbled over to on of the sidewalls. He could practically hear the laughter of his enemies laughing, taunting him with their insolent human noisemakers. _I will not give them satisfaction_, he thought darkly.

He tiptoed carefully over towards the desk and flung himself over into the chair. The leather made a satisfying crunch as he proceeded to fling up his legs onto the desk. _If there are people watching they'll know that they won't make a smeet out of me. Ha lets see them try._ he thought with a cocky smirk.A click emitted from the desk as the whirring of rusty gears clanked through the walls. Zim dove under the desk grabbing a stapler from one of the bottom drawers. As the grinding slowed it became increasingly harder to see through the goggles. Putting them away he notice the glow against the wall and on the floor outside his little hidie-hole. Leaning around to the edge of the desk making sure he was out of the light he peaked around the corner.

_Mushrooms? From the __**sky**__?_ Glowing aqua mushrooms protruded from small holes in the night sky above him, filling the office with an unnatural glow. Stars, more numerous down below than above, grinned back down at him. Zim's mechanical spider legs shot into the soft bedrock floor lifting him up. The stars moved from the sudden rush of air sending them shimmering in their rows. As he rose higher, the fouler the smell of earth became. He slowly stretched his gloved hand batting at a delicate strand holding the tiny glowing dots. They swayed gently before coming back and sticking to his hand. Bored of this stupidness, he lowered himself down to the ground. _Well that killed five minutes_. _There had to be a way to open the door_.Zim looked around. He went back to inspect the stone door, brushing past the metal chains.

It was smooth and tinged grey probably through time. In the near center of the large door was a series of two rings encompassing a circle. In the middle in near empty space were two objects, the Earthinoids _Sun_ and the _Moon_. _Way to get creative with the names Earthiniods_. He scoffed at there stupidity. The Sun and crescent Moon appeared to be on metal tracts…weird. His claws fingered with the first outer surprised to find it slid easily clockwise. _Interesting, _Zim put a finger to his chin, _very interesting._ He slid the first outer rim all the way, enjoying the slight creak of rusty gears as he did so. The Sun on the right slid to the center middle circle. Zim moved to the second inner ring quickly counter clockwise realizing the purpose of the moon. The waning crescent moon overlapped the Sun. Zim took a step back. It then slid into the door with a metallic screech. The solar eclipse emitted a small puff of steam and turned sideways. Suddenly the sound of locks springing from their slots echoed around him in the deep. Zim timidly leaned his hand against the door. The stone behemoth slid forward. With a smirk he dragon kicked the door open. The door fell forward cracking into large pieces as it collided with the slate floor. Zim jumped onto the fallen door with triumph.

"Victory!" Zim declared, " Victory for the mighty Zim!"

"Yes, you sure showed _that_ door. Mm-hmm. Aren't you impregnable?" a voice echoed sarcastically from nowhere.

"Of course not I'm a male! WHO ARE YOU?" Zim screamed into the empty hallway. "Answer Zim. Show your face so I can squish it."

"Come here." The voice answered cryptically. The voice sounded young. He probably was another human runt stuck here. But it was better to be lost in the dark with someone than no one…better to have someone else to sacrifice than your own.

"Where?" Zim asked looking round. The tunnel looked naturally formed. Glowing green crystals and mushrooms sprang out of random places basking the grey rock with green overtones. The Irken soldier had two ways to turn, which left the question: left or right.

"Turn-"

"_WHERE_?"

"Are you going to-"?

"_**WHERE?**_"

"_**Silence**_ **you **_**infernal**_ **infidel! Do you want an unexpected visit to hell or would you rather live to conquer this planet?**" the disembodied voice rang out around him. Zim felt his heart skip beat. _He knows…something knows._"**That's right I do know. And I don't care. I need you to shut up and **_**listen**_**. **Turn right, then left, then open the door numbered_**666**_**."**

Zim didn't even wait to answer. He didn't care about who this thing thought it was or how powerful his voice had become. His secret was everything to him. His darkest nightmares would not come true-he would not allow them to come true. _Right, left,_ he read off as he sprinted past corners, _658, 660, 662, 664_. Zim skiddedto a stop.

"666." Zim whispered. A light blue door with brass letters looked down on him. He saw himself reflected in the yellow metal. He saw himself scowl. "I'm here."

"Now open the door." The Childs voice drawled out impatiently. Zim set to work on the puzzle on the door again. _Hmm he sounds...strange_. The thing behind the wall seemed to read his mind. "The words you're looking for are 'like he has an accent' and I do. I've actually been eager to meet you, Invader Zim. When my father told me another life form other than human was on the planet, I can't tell you how overjoyed I was. The world is a dangerous place to be alone in. But then again humans aren't very good company to keep. Though there are a _few_ exceptions."

"You talk as though you are _not_ a human being." Zim replied preparing to charge. Zim slammed the door open and walked into darkness. The door closed behind him. He whirled around trying to catch a glimpse of the thing that had entrapped him. Instead Zim found himself looking straight into the glowing red eyes.

"Well that's because…_I'm not_."


	8. Chapter 8:Dib, the Amazing Human Burrito

_Chapter 8: Dib, the Amazing Human Burrito! _

_***Note from the author: This chapter is dedicated to a few special people. Inu chan 339 author of Invader Zim Ect2-After shock and Bat13SJx author of ZAGR and ZAGR Forever (probably the only ZAGR that isn't cheesy) for inspiring me to become a fan fiction writer. If you haven't read any of these two girls works YOU HAVE TO READ THEM! Their pieces are amazing. They suck you right in and jiggle you around in a bottle of awesome sauce. Also Alice-Chan422, Darkinvader897, .and. .GOODBYE, Mii-riam and the few others who read my story. Thanks you so much. Keep reading my story m'kay or ima gonna have to do horrible things to you with salad tongs…I'm serious. K ***_

Dib wiped the snot on his black sleeve, burying his head in his pillow again. Ugh, he couldn't stop thinking about that day. It was as if his brain was stuck on repeat. The empty eyes, its bad breath, and the constant pounding of its fist against the door. He shuddered pulling the covers over him some more. It wasn't like he was trying to create an unstoppable monster. The voodoo book clearly stated that herbal zombies were benevolent. Maybe zombies made from the living couldn't be controlled? He didn't know. He rolled over onto his back.

_Think of…think of something else,_ he thought to himself_, Frogs… hamburgers….waffles…. puppies-NO! _He groaned pulling the grey pillow over his head angrily. He felt himself slip into his memories for the 3rd time_. Stupid brain. Why are you doing this to me? _

_He hopped over the fence landing near their neighbors Chihuahua. The cute tawny Chihuahua gave a few short yaps before bounding over to the little 8-year-old Dib. Dib stooped down and picked up the puppy, holding it in front of him. The little Chihuahua squirmed in his grip, straining forward trying to lick his face. His younger self chuckled, "No, No Mr. Pickles. Hee-hee, you can lick me __afterwards__." He hugged the little ball of fur close to his chest. Lil'Dib shuffled towards the wood gate, hopping up and down trying to flip open the latch._

"No, no, why won't the old bag look out the window. Stop It.", Dib begged silently with the his younger self. Dib felt his hands grip the pillow tighter. He pushed his face farther into the cotton fabric. "Put the dog back. You don't know what your doing."

_Lil'Dib continued to hop up and down before switching to holding the Chihuahua under his arm like a book and hopped up one more time. His middle finger succeeded in popping the little hook out of the latch, and without hesitation he pushed gate open. Among the green summer grass were various jars pots and children books. A circle salt had been made in the center of the yard. The bright sunshine made the white salt glow softly. Lil'Dib skipped over and sat the dog down in the middle of the circle. Mr. Pickles rolled around on the grass belly exposed for a tummy rub._

"_Not yet, Pickles, you silly dog." Lil'Dib laughed, leaning over giving the doggie a short scratch before picking up a heavy book lying on the ground. "I'm doing this for you, okay? So stay."_

"It was an accident!", his voice muffled through the pillow. He was smart back then but still stupid enough to NOT read the signs. He turned letting the pillow fall of the edge of the bed. He swaddled himself in the his blankets. "I should've left the book where I found it."

_He brushed off some of the dust from the cover. The ancient book was made of tanned animal hide of some kind bound with leather and sealed with a bone. Strange symbols looked like they had been burned into the hide to form what must, he had assumed, be words. He ran his finger over the cover, enjoying the feeling of the divots from the burns and prickly fur against his stubby fingers. He grinned down at the mysterious book. The large blue eye on the cover stared back. He undid the canine clasp and flipped through to a book marked page. "Lets make some magick!"_

He didn't even fully understand what a zombie was.

_Dib kneeled next to the circle picking up jars and tossing them aside before picking up two small baby jars full of powder. He set the two jars over to the circle, he grabbed the butter knife he had smuggled out of the kitchen out of his pocket and set it down on the grass. Mr. Pickles sniffed both jars before losing all interest and went back to chasing his tail. He read aloud, "'The West Africans were master chemists especially in the use of herbs and poisons. To make a nbzambie or zombie, as they are called in today's society, chemically it is first necessary to cause the victim to appear to die, then to apply an antidote to revive them.' Well that seems weird, but okay."_

That was probably the first sign that something was wrong.

"_The basic poison comes from the common blowfish. Dyed and powdered, it is a nerve poison. It is applied mainly in one's shoes, surrep…surreptitiously, and absorbed through the sweet glands in the feet." Dib opened one of the glass jars, cracking off the lid. He read aloud as he began to scrape the powder onto the knife. "The blowfish poison inhibits the natural conductivity of the nervous system and causes the to atrophy and otherwise appear decreased". _

He didn't even know what most of those words meant! What was he thinking?

"_This phase completes he deception of death. Come' mere Mr. Pickles. " Mr. Pickles bounded up to him and sat in front of him. Dib picked up Pickles paws and spread the powdered poison on them like butter. The little Chihuahua twitched anxiously from side to side, his tail waving quickly back and forth. Suddenly the little Chihuahua shuddered. Dib leaned forward in apprehension. Mr. Pickle's knees suddenly buckled, and the little puppy collapsed into the green grass._

It was suddenly harder to swallow.

"_In the second phase the antidote, a paste from the seedpod of the angle's trumpet flower is applied. The seedpod contains two types of active ingredients. The first is atropine, which counteracts the nerve poisoning. The second is a hallucinogenic that causes both amnesia and disorientation…what's a hallucinogenic? Hmm." , Dib opened the other baby jar. He had to save Mr. Pickles. "The final result is a person who appeared to have died, appears to have been resurrected and is now mentally incoherent, but physically functional." Dib spread the antidote on Mr. Pickles paws. "Pickles?" Lil'Dib poked the unresponsive pile of fur. The grass within the circle started to whither and burn. Dib got up and backed away from the salt border._

"_OH MY SWEET BABY NOODLES! MR. PICKLES!"_

"_What?" Lil'Dib looked up to see his elderly neighbor lady push him aside and scoop up her precious pooch. Mrs. Gravelli began to cradle the dog in her arms rocking it back and forth. She glared down at Dib._

"_What the HELL did you do you little-OW!" She screamed dropping Mr. Pickles. Dib could see small bite marks from where the dog had bit her. Mr. Pickle's mouth was frothing when he sprang out of her arms and ran into the next-door neighbors yard, growling at nothing in particular. Dib looked up into the angry old lady. She leaned towards him pointing a bony finger in his face. "I know __you_ _had something to do with this. You tried to kill my droog!"_

Sign number two, the old lady starts to drool uncontrollably.

_Lil' Dib rushed back. Mrs. Gravelli had begun to choke on her own drool. She closed her hands around her throat, collapsing onto the grass. She hacked until little drops of scarlet fell from her pink lips and began to stain her yellow polka dot dress. Her hands suddenly relinquished their grip on her throat and began to tear viciously at her gray hair, ripping large clumps from her scalp. The little 8 year old ran for the back door._

"_Gazzy, open the door!" Dib squeaked, pounding as hard as he could on the oak door. He jiggled the doorknob furiously_

"_Leave me alone!" his six year old sister yelled from somewhere inside._

"_Gazzy, you don't understand! Something's wrong with Mrs. Gravelli." Dib begged with his twin on the other side. "She's ugly! She's drooling from the side of her mouth and making no sense words and stuff!"_

"_What else is new?" her voice sounded farther away._

"_Gazzy!"_

" _Find a way in yourself." Gaz snapped._

"_What? Why?"_

"_You used the last black crayon on your stupid Dracula picture!" she screamed._

_Dib froze as he heard a feral growl behind him. Mrs. Gravelli's eyes had rolled into the back of her head and was starting to crawl slowly towards him. Dib panicked and banged on the door louder. He heard nothing from inside. He turned and saw the zombie dragging herself moving a little closer every second. Dib looked at the doggie door installed for whenever Mr. Pickles came to visit. Dib groaned and shoved his head through the door. He saw Gaz in a little pink jumper drinking a glass of milk with cookies at the kitchen table. "Gazette, you open the door right now or else-"_

"_Or else what?" Gazzy raised an eyebrow._

"_Or else I'll tell Dad what_ _really_ _happened to the TV.", Dib threatened._

"_You __wouldn't __dare." Gaz glared angrily at him._

"_I fear death more than you at the moment. Unlock door!" his voice sounded hysterical. He __was_ _hysterical._

"_Grrrrr…you know annoying me means death." Gazzy hopped off the kitchen chair sipping her milk all the way the door. Dib felt a wave of gratitude wash over him before freezing as Gazzy just stood there waiting expectantly. Dib waited giving his little sister an impatient stare. The zombie must be close by now. Gazzy sipped some more of her milk. When she realized Dib was still there she stated quite impatiently, "I can't open the door with your head in it."_

_He remembered feeling his face flush. He wiggled his side to side before popping his head out the little doggie door, looking over his shoulder. He had been right about the zombie thing. The zombie was less then 5 feet from him. Dib twisted the knob and whirled inside locking the door behind him. He leaned against the grey door, panting. Gazzy walked back to the kitchen table and continued eating her cookies. "Gazzy," he whispered "we need to get upstairs… now."_

"_What're you whispering for?" Gazzy asked._

"_Look, I think I may have accidently created a zombie out of Mrs. Gravelli, okay. So come upstairs with me." Dib said in exasperation. He grabbed his sisters' hand and began tugging her upstairs. She protested of course but it's hard to take someone serious if they have a milk mustache on their face. Her little fists began to hit him mercilessly. He managed to drag her to the stairs before he heard it. Gazzy froze in mid swing. A slow but never faltering sound of hand smacking against wood._

_Dib put his hands on his ears. He wasn't there, he told himself over and over, that was then, this is now. Twisting in the blankets, he tried futilely to silence the pounding reverberating inside his mind._

_Lil' Dib pulled Gazzy up towards his room. They were halfway up the stairs when Gazzy broke his grip and raced into the narrow hallway. He was just able to make it up the stairs in time to see Gazzy pick up the home phone and begin to dial._

"_GAZ WE CAN ORDER PIZZA LATER! Although it would be a good distraction." Dib paused thoughtfully considering they were about to get eaten alive._

"_I'm calling Dad." Gaz corrected. She rolled her eyes at him tapping her little foot impatiently. She paused looking Dib straight in the eye._

"_Oh…yeah…that's good too." Dib nervously shifted side to side. He wanted to talk to Dad too. "Gazzy put it on speakerphone would ya." Gaz pushed a little button on the phone and set back into the base. Both of them waited while the silver phone rang. There was a sharp click on the other end._

"_This is Jimmy, Professor Membranes personal intern. Please state why you want to bother the __most important_ _man on the face of the earth apparently." A bitter male voice muttered into the phone. Dib and Gazzy looked at each other._

"_Uh this is Dib and Gazette." Dib stated uneasily to the phone. "We need to speak to Dad. IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"_

_There was a long pause from the intern before he spoke again. "Riiight well kiddies I'll tell your Daddy you called and said hello m'kay?"_

"_Intern who're you talking to?" a smaller voice in the background inquired._

"_DAD!...HELP!...__**IWASTRYINGSOMETHINGFROMTHISB OOK**__IFOUNDONTHEBUSFLOORONOURDOGA NDTHEN__**THEDOGDIED**__ANDITCAMEBACKTOLIFEANDTHEN____AND__**SHESTARTEDHACKINGBLOOD**__ANDSHE'SGOTTHIS__**HORRIBLEDROOLTHING**__THATSLOOKSLIKEASAINTBENARDMI XEDWITHATHINGTHATDROOLSALOTA NDSHE__**STARTEDCOMINGATME**__ANDGAZETTEWOULDN'TOPENTHEDOORANDLETMEINSOIHAD TO__**STICKMYHEADINTHROUGHTHEDOGGI EDOOR**__ANDBEGGAZTOLETMEINAND__**MYHEADGOTSTUCK**__ANDNOW__**WE'REGONNAGETEAT'INBYAZOMBIENEIGHBORLADYHELP**__!" Dib paused trying to catch his breath from all the talking he just did. Gaz just stood staring at her brother with raised eyebrows. It was silent on the phone for a long time. He could hear his Dad arguing with "Jimmy" in the lab. Suddenly a third voice interjected and the arguing stopped. The was the sound of a door slamming followed by an angry growl._

"_There are you happy now? You've created more work for me to do. I deserve to have a social life too you know?!" Jimmy snapped._

"_We didn't want to-" Gazzy tried to put a word in but he hung up before she could finish. She looked over at her brother and gave a small shrug. Suddenly the pounding seemed to get louder followed by the sound of glass cracking. Dib let out a small eep before sprinting down the hall into his room. He looked over his shoulder to see Gazzy walking steadily behind him. As soon as Gaz put her foot out of the doorway, he slammed the door and bolted it. The two children backed away from the door. Dibs head whipped back and forth scanning around the navy blue room looking for __something_ _that could be used as a weapon. Bookshelves held random storybooks and toys. His bed was pressed against the side of the wall near the window. A bolt of inspiration hit him. He dove under the bed pushing aside numerous dust bunnies and papers. He pulled out a baseball bat and tossed it to his sister. Gaz caught it and began to dig around his room looking for something else to defend them with._

_There was a sickening crash from downstairs followed by the gurgle of blood and drool. Dib jumped up and ran to his sister. She had ripped the small lamp from the bedside table and tossed it to him. His hands slipped and the lamp shattered against the grey carpet. Dib flinched. He held his breath looking both from Gaz to the lamp. Gaz was shaking, from rage or fear he didn't know._

"_Dib," her little voice muttered "What the heck did you do?!"_

"_It was an accident." Dib said giving an indignant shrug. He crossed his arms scowling. "Great Gazzy, now I'm going to die angry. Thanks a lot."_

"_You're welcome." Gaz said dismally, mimicking Dib's angry pose. A large high-pitched roar echoed from downstairs. Heavy banging's followed as the zombie reached the stairs, each thump making his heart skip. Dib grabbed Gaz and pulled her to the side of the room near the door. He put a finger to his lips and motioned for her to crouch in-between the wall and his bookshelf. She shook her head not following. He grit his teeth and whispered in her ear his plan. Gazzy nodded and followed his lead. Dib sighed and walked to the window. He looked over at his sister who murmured something incomprehensible._

_Dib gave a small smile, "Yeah I love you too, Gazette."_

"_What? That wasn't what I said."_

_There was a large bang against his door. Gazzy immediately drew the bat up to swing while Dib raised his arms over his head. The silver knob slowly turned. Then another shove reverberated against the door. The knob rattled violently back and forth. Huge slams shook the door, making it creak. Dib remembered trying to make the pounding seem not so bad. He had imagined the rhythmic pounding as drum beats. Boom ba, boomba, boom ba. It took a little bit of fear away. Made it more pleasant to stand waiting for who knows what. At least that was what he told himself then. Suddenly the slamming and the knob rattling stopped leaving an uneasy silence to linger in the house._

_Even though he was only eight he knew something wasn't right. He tentatively lowered his hands and stole a glance at his little sister. She shrugged and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before gripping the bat tighter and raising it a little higher. Her face was a mask of indifferent determination. He was only able to take one step forward before a large splinter appeared in the oak door. He was ashamed to say he regrettably screamed while balling his fists and shaking them violently like a girl._

"_Psh…whiner." Gaz rolled his eyes at him._

_Mrs. Gravelli's pale hand broke a small hole in the door with a crack. Cuts flowed foul smelling blood onto white skin, her nails scraped at the white paint along the door leaving short claw-like marks in the wood. For some reason the blood on white reminded him of Snow White being brought back to life from death. If Snow White came back, then the prince got a whole lot more than he bargained for. The hand retracted itself back into the hallway. A empty eyeball peered into the room eyeing him eagerly. He could have sworn he saw wild glee in those eyes before they disappeared again. Dib backed away towards the wall. He heard a loud squeal and saw the zombies shoulders protrude through the doorway. Its arm flailed wildly trying to grab him. Dib let out a large shriek as Mrs. Gravelli brought the remaining middle of the door down with a smash. She fell near Gazzy's bookshelf. Dib had felt so afraid for her then that he thought he was going to throw up. But luckily it seemed that zombie hadn't seen her through the peephole and was too focused on him to notice her._

_The elderly zombie pushed herself up from the ground and froze, studying him with eager anticipation. Mrs. Gravelli brought herself into a crouch and began to slowly stalk him on all fours like a cat stalked an injured bird. Dib felt like his little heart was going to explode. His body felt like a coiled wire but his mind wasn't working right. He knew what was going on around him but couldn't think a thought. He looked over the zombies' head and saw Gazzy slowly inching her way towards the door. She stopped and looked at him. He heard her silently ask him if he was sure this was okay. Dib remembered nodding and watching her leave the room. He turned back to Mrs. Gravelli who was less than a few feet from him. Her body tense and bend down low. And for just a single moment he felt time slow._

_He saw her mouth open wide enough to see down her throat…her hands slowly extended out as she hurled herself forward with her legs…her mouth blood seeped from the corners of her mouth drawing a thin red line down her cheek and throat…her eyes had swirls leading into the center…then…he felt adrenalin coil spring. A blur of images passed through his mind so fast he was only able to recognize a few of them. The yellow polka dots on Mrs. Grevellis dress, someone calling his name, his feet slipping on his gray carpet, running for the door, his father yelling at him to duck followed by a sickening crack._

_Dib had found himself lying on the floor looking up at his Dad. Behind him the zombie clutched the side of its skull, howling in pain. The world then seemed to have lost its ability to make noise. Dirty red liquid spilt out between her hands matting her silver hair. Her mouth opened and closed soundlessly, her features twisted in agony. He vaguely felt his Dad shake him. He couldn't pull his eyes off of his once neighbor bleeding out on the floor. She collapsed onto her back. Her back began arching, he could see her entire body shudder down her fragile body._

_Suddenly his face turned sideways. His father was looking directly into his face seemed to have been telling or asking him something._

_Dib couldn't find a way to make his mouth work. His brain was still trying to figure out what had just happened._

_Then he was looking at the hallway ceiling, then he was being set down somewhere. He didn't know where he was._

_He chose to just watch the light dance against his father's goggles._

_They were weird._

_You couldn't see into them._

_His father suddenly disappeared and reappeared with a man dressed like him._

_The man shined something bright in his eyes._

_Dad and Bright light man seemed to talk for a long time._

_Gazzy came up to him._

_She started poking him with the tip of a marker._

_She then moved the marker across his face._

_She smirked before being hauled away from him by Dad._

_The Bright light man gave him something._

_Two somethings actually._

_Bright light man put something around him and something in his hands._

_He left alone for he didn't know how long…_

_but it felt like a long time…_

_He didn't know when he fell asleep but he must have. He kept his eyes closed trying to remember what was going on or better yet where he was. Dib then began to notice many things. The first thing Dib realized was that he could feel again. Something heavy rested across his back preventing him from pulling himself up off his stomach. He felt something warm and soft surrounding him. He burrowed further into the warmth enjoying its comforting embrace. The second was that he was in fact being embraced. His head was resting on what he came to assume was their chest. He felt the steady rising and falling of whoever's chest and the beat of their heart. It was a pretty weird experience though not necessarily a bad one. It kind of made him think of being on a ship. The third thing was that he was starting to recover his hearing. At first everything sounded like it was being heard under water, all stretched out and warped. Then slowly he felt the water drain away. He heard the distant sound of a woman announcing the weather tomorrow. The steady drum of the person's heartbeat and their soft breaths._

_A voice softly sighed pushing a small strand of hair out of his face, "I still can't figure out how you managed to turn Mrs. Gravelli into a zombie, Son." Dib felt the chest lower as his Dad spoke. That was the fourth thing Lil' Dib realized. That his Dad was talking to him while he thought that he was asleep. Dib decided it was best to pretend to still be asleep, curious as to what his father would say or do next. His fathers' chest remained steady for a while longer before taking a breath to talk some more._

"_I suppose you were playing with my lab equipment outside and Mrs. Gravelli came to check up on you. I don't know. How the heck does an 8 year old turn a person into a zombie? It's unfathomable." his Dad chuckled a little at that last part for some reason. Dib felt his father play a little with his small mini scythe. He felt his Dad flatten down the defiant hair strand against his head. As soon as his father released his hair, Dib felt it spring straight up. He felt his Dad suppress a laugh before continuing on his short monologue, his tone telling him he was clearly amused._

"_Yes, you've definitely got my hair. Unfortunately for you…. I love you son." Dib felt happy shock course through his body. "I wish you weren't so INSANE but still you're definitely my son. My poor insane son." He felt his Dad yawn and clutch him tightly as he shifted his weight. Dib heard the shifting of box springs and the click of the television shutting off. "You are going to be in SO much trouble when you wake up, young man."_

_He shifted around for a while longer before his chest feel into a slow and steady rise. Dib opened his eyes to find that he was looking at his fathers face…or at least half of his face. The bright sunlight had faded away through the window. His Dad was sprawled across the couch on his back, one arm supporting his head the other wrapped across Dibs back to prevent him from rolling off the sofa. He decided he'd take the heat later. For now he would enjoy the warmth. Dib reached out for his fathers arm and brought it closer around him before drifting off to sleep again._

Dib opened his eyes from the memory to find him hugging himself. He tried to push his arms away in self-disgust but he was so twisted up in blankets that he couldn't move. I feel like a human burrito!, Dib thought angrily wiggling desperate to escape his cotton chains. He twisted until he accidently rolled off the bed and kissed the floor.

Or Quesada., Dib amended.

After a few minutes of general cursing he heard a knock from downstairs. Dib struggled with the blankets for a few more minutes before giving up. "Gaz!" he called "Could you get the door?"

"Get it yourself ." Gaz reappeared in his doorframe upside down, enjoying a can of poop cola. Dib somehow managed to make it to his feet and hop past his sister. He paused before moving towards the stairs. He gave his sister the steeliest glare he could manage.

"You're a reeal piece of work you know that.", Dib snapped, still annoyed that he'd allowed himself to get so emotional.

Gaz looked him over. She raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of her cola before walking off towards the stairs. She shoved him aside and went on walking. Dib teetered but didn't fall over which was impressive he supposed since he couldn't flail his arms around. He hopped a few times before reaching the perilous descent. He stared down the black stairs before hearing a small cough behind him. He turned his head in time to have soda spray him in the face. He sputtered coughing, taking a hop back, only to find empty space where the floor should have been. He wobbled back and forth on the edge of the first step. Gaz stood there watching him flounder around.

"Help me!" he pleaded. He looked deep into Gazs' squinting eyes. He looked behind him down the fifteen carpeted stairs. 83% of all stair related accident happened on the stairs. He looked back at Gaz who examined his predicament with, as always, thoughtful indifference. She did the unexpected and expected.

She shrugged setting her can down on the floor. She wiped her hands on her black jumper before coming to stand within an inch of his face. She the sucked in a breath and blow gently on his face. He slowly fell like a tree in the woods. He cried out as the blanket was ripped off him as he fell down the stars.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow-ooapenny-ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. OW!" . He reached the landing with an unfortunate crack. Dib had bitten his tongue hard enough to make it bleed. He only had one pair of glasses. Of course he had to bend them. The person at the door was growing irritated, banging on the door as well as holding the doorbell. Dib looked up at his sister who gazed down at the blanket trapped beneath her foot. She looked up from the blanket to her brother sprawled on the floor. She just looked down at him.

"There. That'll be my good deed for the next 3 years." She stooped down and walked off with her cola, to her room no doubt. Dib signed in annoyance, using his knees to help him get up. Dib frowned trying to straighten his blue shirt as well as his spine.

Ugh who knew falling down stairs hurt so much?, Dib thought as he rubbed a sore spot on his back. The knocker was getting really irritated now. Whoever it was had begun to pound on the door with their fist so hard the wood shook.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Jeez.", he growled. Dib stomped over to the blue door. He normally never got angry. He normally got frustrated but this wasn't a 'normal' day. This had been a horrible emotionally exhausting day. Dib grabbed the silver knob, closed his eyes and flung the door open wide so hard it slammed against the back wall. He glared up at the woman standing on the front stoop. "You're the therapist aren't you? Of course you are, come in eat my food and pretend to care, write meaningless scribbles on the clipboard and get your-"

"Well you're special." The tall woman interrupted, taking it upon herself to let herself in. She looked around before twirling on her black high heels, making her black hair flutter in the breeze. She had on a pin stripe suit-making her look more like a lawyer than a therapist-with black high heels. Her skin was the color of dry brush, dead leaves, and sun dried dust. Her hair was close cropped and shaved around the sides so only the top of her hair. She carried a small black briefcase with her which made her look even more like a lawyer. "Now Dib, I can see that you've really had a bad day, and me being your therapist isn't really a godsend that things are going to get better. But you're going to have to trust me okay? I'm not here to eat, or write, or even pretend to care. I'm here because you're case actually interests me. I'm doing this for free after all."

The therapist walked ahead a little more before bending down on her knees to where Dibs head was held still stood frozen with the rest of his body at the door. He had lowered his arms a long time ago and now just stood there regarding the lady with a suspicious look. He did not expect this reaction to his little outburst. Plus there was a sort of off setting thing about this woman's olive green eyes that told him this person had a tendency to do things spontaneously. Her eyes searched him, trying to see what was going on inside him. She sighed, "Oh dear, I'm afraid we really have gotten off on the wrong foot haven't we?"

When he said nothing she continued, "I'll take your silence as a definite yes?" He nodded his head slowly. "Ah I thought so. My banging and inviting myself in probably was a little prudent of me wasn't it?" Dib nodded again. "Ah I see. Well then maybe we should start over?" Dib nodded his head again.

"Well then, lets start over.", She stood back up and walked into the doorway. She then rang the doorbell and waited patiently admiring the house. Dib walked over and pretended to open the door. She beamed down at him. "Hello there, you must be Dib. My name is Dr. Tonja. May I come in?"

"Wait," Dib said eyebrows raising to the sky in shock, "you mean the Doctor Tonja? The one who closed the crazy house for boys?"

"I'd rather not talk about that horrible place. It wasn't a hospital, it was a prison cell.", Dr. Tonja shifted her weight uncomfortably on her heels. "I had to close it."

Dib narrowed his eyes, "What happened to all the crazy people then?" The idea of random crazies running around on the street freaked him out. Dr. Tonja stood up a little straighter, looking happier to answer this question.

"Well the ones who passed the pysch exmination get to live there life and the ones who have prison records and fail the exams are being temporarily held in prison until I get enough registered doctors and nurses to help me set up the new facility. Now may I caome in." she asked smiling.

some registered doctors and nurses to help me rebuild. Now may I come in?" she asked sweetly. Dib pretended to think it over.

"Sure why not." He pretended to open the door a little wider. "Me Casa es su casa, right?" The shrink walked in the door smiling.

**Authors note: I have been thinking about a musical piece that captures the essence of my story. I'm thinking about either choosing Richard Meyers Alfred Strings 1997 Mantras (one of my favorites and an amazing classical piece.), Rosin Eating Zombies From Outer Space part one and two (my second fav classical piece), or just using the Imagine dragons entire album Night Visions. Post Script: If you haven't heard the two classical pieces you definitely should or else you're missing some great culture.**

**Oh and this is a Post Script to the Post Script: Anybody see Ghost Rider? Love the Transformation into the Ghost Rider. Also Blackheart sort of looks and sounds exactly like what Johnny C does to me…he's got the voice and coat and everything. seriously.**


	9. Chapter 9:-EVIL WILL FIND YOU!

**Chapter 9: -Evil will find you!**

**Sorry its been sooooo long and stuff. Last chapter was hard to write and all. Hard to make Zim and - stay in character. Hope I got it right. Enjoy! **

"Eh? Oh uh okay…" Zim shifted on his feet looking around in the darkness. He whipped his head around as a thought popped into his head. "Heey if you're not human…then what are you? How do you know my name? Who told you I was an alien? Was it the Dib boy? Speak! I can't see!"

The red pupils rolled in their sockets. "Clearly we are not going to have a meaningful conversation now aren't we? However you amuse me with your insolent questions so I shall answer some." Zim heard a snap and immediately the lights flickered on. When his eyes adjusted he saw a human child standing before him…or at least mostly human. In front of him was by far the strangest earthinoid he'd seen.

He couldn't have been more than Dibs scary sisters age-around 8 or nine earth years of age. He had on a long sleeved black shirt that hung down to his thighs but the sleeves were grey with thin black stripes, and clung onto his frame. He wore skinny pants like Zims but in deep grey with black boots. He had chalk white skin that clung to his round head. Oh his head… yes that definitely be the most disturbing thing about him, Zim decided. The child had a shaved head except for a line of hair at the top where pieces of spiky hair stuck out and down around his face like a spider. What was it called again-a Mohawk? Where eyebrows would have been small horns protruded like that of a baby goat. All of these things were weird of course but the real showstopper was his eyes.

He had large eyes but they were disproportionate to one another. The left was considerably smaller but both eyes had black rings around them that or he was imagining it from the shadows. Irises floated in a sea of milk white. They had dark black rings lining the irises, their color trying unsuccessfully to seep into the center only to be pushed back by color changing red and orange. The earthinoid stood erect with both hands behind his back and feet together. The worm baby gave the smallest of a smile.

"Pleased?" he asked. Zim narrowed his eyes. How dare this-this…human smeet make him feel so off center. He inspected the child once again freezing at his horns. This thing was seriously irking him off, with his stupid mysterious face and stupid mysterious 'accent' and mysterious…face!

He sputtered out angrily, "Pleased? PLEASED? Zim is the opposite of pleased! Zim is underground, dirty, and with a human meat puppet! How do you think Zim is doing as of now?!"

"I don't know, grateful to have met me? Happy to have your questions answered?" The horned boy narrowed his eyes. "Do not try me alien. You may be an _invasor_ but you are not on Irk anymore. Ugh _el hombre que eres un gilipollas_." The horned boy took a hand and rubbed one of his temples. Zim was very confused. The cave troll spoke two earth languages. He hardly knew this one. Which brought up another one of the questions to his mind. How was he going to get rid of him? He knew somehow he couldn't charge him. The creatures' confidence was enough to tell him that he wouldn't dare attack him.

"You live here?" Zim asked. They were in what looked like a human lab mixed with a bar. Stalactites reigned from on high on the ceiling, some even met and combined with the grey stalagmites on the floor. In between the large stalactites, bright white rectangles shown florescent light out into the darkness cutting through it like a knife. On the right side of the cavern a wall of stone curled out and around making a perfect 'J'. Metal bar stools upholstered with red leather clustered around the outer side. Steel tables were lined up the left side against the walls, their silver surfaces littered with metal instruments. Zim walked over to the closest operating table. Instruments of mass healing and destruction were laid out on trays. Zim picked up a surgical clamp. On Devastis all Irken smeet were required to watch an autopsy of an irken solider and the species of your choice. Zim set the clamp back on the table, giving an involuntary shudder.

He heard the stranger stopped rubbing and gave out a haughty, " Pssh, ya right. Me live in a dump like this? Ha I would sooner work at Chick-fil-A. Ahh, no, no, this is just where the skool invests all its money. My Dad won't tell me anything else." the boy walked over to Zim. He eyed the clamp, Zims face, then the clamp again and smiled. "_Old memories of things that have long since past?_"

"_Old memories that have not past yet._" Zim looked down at the face reflected in the clamp. He shook his head and threw down the clamp angrily at the table. He pointed his claw at the horned strangers face. Every minute spent down in this pit was another minute lost on his mission. "_You promised answers!_"

The horn beast seemed unfazed by the sudden claw in his face. Zim poked him a few times before the Beast boy grabbed his wrist. Zim felt rage boil up inside him making his vision tinge crimson.

"**Don'tpoke me**.", the horned demon released Zims hand and drew his behind his back. He eyes shifted side to side before walking over to the bar, climbing up a seat. He motioned for Zim to take the chair next to him. _Keep your head_, Zim, he told himself, _he'll be dead soon enough_. Zim took a deep breath and put on his poker face. He strut over towards the bar and used his spider legs to lift himself up on the chair. Beastie boy leaned forward on his knees, "There is a certain unspoken belief shared by all people; that this world is full of secrets. I am terrible with secrets. Ask me-"

"WHO ARE YOU!", Zim heard himself ask before he could stop himself. He felt himself flush inside but was grateful that his poker face didn't break. The worm baby raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"You really have a one track mind don't you?" worm baby asked. "You could ask me how I just spoke Irken back there, or what I'm doing down here but you want to know my name."

"I ask, you answer worm baby!" Zim said pointing to one another in turn. The beast boys' eye color changed again from orange to rose red crimson. His upturned nostrils flared as he took deep breaths. Zim watched in fascination as the boy mumbled something unintelligible then start chuckling hysterically. The anger inside him was about to explode. How dare this cave dwelling scum laugh at Zim. "What's so funny?"

The meat sack looked up at Zim smirking, "I have a million names, pequeño extraterrestre perdido. But **never **has anyone _**dared**_ to call me a worm baby and still stand before me alive. As for who I am…well I am many."

"I have played your game long enough!" Zim leaped onto the bar counter. He grabbed one of the small hanging light bobbles and shone it into this meat sacks filthy face. The meat sack shielded his eyes with his hand. Zim scowled at the inferior creature below him. "Answer me! Who are YOU and how do you know my secret?"

The earthinoid lowered his hands giving him an irritating look, "Like I said I have many names. _The Nail, the Branch of the Terrible Ones, the Angel of the Bottomless Pit._ However," the angel of the bottomless pit leaned in closer lowering the lamp with a pale hand so they were eye to eye, "you my friend may call me _The Antichrist_…but my mom calls me Pepito."

They stood like that for a while. Zim felt the annoyance give way to relief. He wiped his brow with his glove, "Oh thank Irk, and for a moment I thought you were someone important!"

He reached forward and tousled the antichrists black Mohawk before hopping of the counter. He looked up to see the antichrist staring down with him in anger and disbelief.

"Not important?" the Antichrist asked him. "You think that I, The Antichrist, am not important?"

Zim shook his head almost sympathizing with the poor creature, "I know the shock of finding out how insignificant you are compared to me is hard to process but I assure you, life without you would be wonderful."

The antichrists brow furrowed, "Do you even know who the Antichrist is?"

"Nope and I don't care." Zim responded honestly.

"You should care. You really should. You don't know it yet, but the world is going to go through three apocalypses. Each one is going to be like one of those horrible dystopian teen novels that people like so much. Very soon as a matter of fact." The antichrists red irises seemed to swirl and glow like embers in the night. It was then that he felt it. The pressure in the cavern increased dramatically, making his body tense. Zim took a step back in modest surprise. He wasn't an expert on humans but he was pretty sure they couldn't do that.

_No,_ he corrected himself; _no __one_ _should be able to do that. _The antichrist slid off the stool and walked away from Zim, arms held neatly behind his back. He paid no attention to Zim, which was exactly what he needed. "I know everything and yet even I can't see the outcome. But I do know this Invasor Zim. One day you will need me. You will desperately need me, and I will turn my back and laugh as you die in the dirt. Then a new age will come-MY age and NO ONE will stop me."

"YOU LIE!" Zim felt his spider legs expel themselves from his PAK and with a slight whir lift him into the air. His spider leg shot forward, hooked itself into the antichrists shirt and flung him down over the bar. The boy slid off the edge of the counter and rolled off onto, what sounded like, a box of bottles. With a war cry he shot himself over the counter to reengage with his new foe. The leg had missed the Antichrists chest by mere centimeters and was currently pinning him to the floor. Broken glass made a pleasant tickle sound as Zim adjusted his legs in the small space. He lowered himself down close enough to feel the breath of the little snot nosed punk on the floor and grabbed antichrists collar raising him up into the air. Zim spat, "Listen branch boy, and try and get it through that horny head of yours. The earth is mine, it has always been mine, and I am never going to grovel to some delusional, bigheaded, evolutionary garbage slop like you. If you have anything to say I suggest you say it now. Because you won't have another chance." _Man I'm good!_

He raised a sharp spider point to the antichrists eyeball. Instead of begging or pleading like the sniveling weasel he expected of this…_antichrist_, he calmly looked down at him in amusement. "It's been a pleasure meeting you Invasor Zim. I come here looking for answers and a friend…and instead I make a new alliance. Don't worry your secret's safe with me. And by the way," he smirked down at the suspicious alien, "you don't have to think of me as the antichrist. Just Pepito will do. Goodbye, Invasor Zim." He snapped his fingers, and then he wasn't there anymore. He simply wasn't there anymore. Empty space floated where his body should have been, leaving the Irken completely and utterly alone. Zim shook down to the core as he collapsed to the ground muttering random curses.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered as he began kicking and smashing pieces of glass in frustration. Zim had let him get away. He had let _another_ human being know his secret. This was ridiculous, this was horrendous, this was inexcusable. The Tallests were gonna kill him! Zim slipped on a piece of glass and fell forward on the glittering floor. There was a sharp crack followed by a burning sensation from his wrist as Zim tried to break his fall. When he was sure of his footing he stood pulling his hand away, nursing the burned wrist. Zim looked down at the floor at a broken bracelet on the floor. He had forgotten about it due to the whole 'antichrist' episode. One of his many strokes of brilliance hit him and he picked up the bracelet. He pushed up the small cover and began playing with the blue and green circuit board. The small blinking red light started flashing again while the small cuff emitted a few sparks from the side. Zim closed the cover over his new GPS and began to work his way through the dark to home.

**Authors note: I'm not gonna lie to you guys… I ran outta steam halfway. Hopefully since Wednesday is the first day of spring break I'll be able to finish my other chapter and it'll be a lot better than this one. Post script: I love grapes. They give you lots of options. If you pick up an apple and it's crappy, you are stuck with a crappy apple. However if you get grapes you usually get a bunch of grapes. So if you get a sucky grape no worries my friend you will most likely get a non-sucky grape next time. And that's all I have to say about grapes. Later everyone, you're all awesome-sauce! ;)**


	10. Meanwhile

**Meanwhile in "real" life** or **My excuse for not posting sooner.**

**I should make one thing perfectly clear though. This has nothing to do with the story. Okay it sorta does but except for it's purpose of being an explaination for where I've been for the past few weeks. It's more of a story within a has plot. It has a climax but it starts off a little slow. You can read this if you really are bored-truly ****that** **bored. Or…you could not read it and wait for the next chapter. It doesn't matter what you choose as there is no way of me knowing if you read it or not. If you choose not to, then you can disregard everything you've just read and leave this fifteen year old girls life alone like you should. This chapter is about Homicidal Honey who I think has always been there deep down inside of me.**

**WARNING: contains references to and or about drug use, violence, cat ninjas, inappropriate gestures, I DO NOT OWN JHONEN VASQEUZ. I do take credit for Homicidal Honey and for trying to make awesome sauce a commonly used turn of phrase.**

I pushed my hipster glasses up to the bridge of my button nose and stared down at the computer screen, admiring my work. I had worked SO hard on chapter eleven, it felt like my fingers might fall off. I leaned back onto my elbows and gave a sigh of contentment…that is until.

"Honey?"

"Yes Mom?", I turned around. My mom walked into the room. She had on a pink t-shirt with a v neck with her dark grey sweatpants carrying two cans. She looked from either side and asked, "So chicken and sweet potatoes _ooooorrrr_ chicken and spina-"

She gapped at me open mouth before closing it, raising an eyebrow. I stared back confused then I realized what it was.

I hadn't told her about my hair plans.

"Hope you like that in two weeks." she stared condescendingly at my turquoise head. I looked away and focused on my laptop. She asked again, "When were you planning on telling me about this?"

"I…dunno?" I managed to get out. In my brilliant mind I had somehow managed to convince myself that my mom, who notices EVERYTHING, would not notice I had dyed my hair blue. I wanted to smack myself but I love myself too much for that. I looked at the monitor, and saw my moms reflection leaning on my doorframe. Blushing I said "I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Permanent or temporary?" she asked quickly.

"Temporary, I'm not that much of an idiot." I snapped.

I should probably explain something about my mother. Lynn Internecine was called Queenie and for good reason. She had a way to make you feel inferior without trying and whenever life threw her for a loop she'd ride that loop like it was a rollercoaster. She's who I based Professor Membrane off of in my series because of her confidence and brilliance. She was, even from looking of her scrap books I found in the attic of her as a baby, and remains to be to this day one word: _Star_. Which can be hard to live up to.

"I never said you were." Mom said. "Now, chicken with a) sweet potatoes or b)spinach?"

I felt amazed relief flow through me. _How could she just move on this easily?-No, Milk IT! MILK IT! _"Yeah sure option 'b' sounds great."

"Great! I'm fry up so chicken and then we'll be on our way." She walked out and left me laying confused and alone in my room. My mom…is weirdly….cool. Still weird though. Not as weird as me though but that goes without saying.

I shook it off and went back to typing my story, well if you can consider 'typing my story' staring at the screen trying to find inspiration for chapter twelve. I moaned quietly to myself. I knew what I _wanted_ to do but I didn't want to be predictable. "Screw it." I said. I slammed my laptop lid down, got off the bed, changed into denim shorts and slid on a pair of white tennis shoes. Halfway through the door I paused, my fingers gently resting on the knob. I looked back at my computer, an white island resting on the sea of pink blanket-y goodness. Before I could change my mind I grabbed the apple computer and shoved it into my tan news carrier backpack. I clumped down the rickety stairs and calling out quickly, "Going out for a walk don't know when I'll be back probably soon-BYE!"

"Wait! Where are you-" my mom asked stepping out from our closet sized kitchen. Before she could finish I kissed her on the check, reached around grabbed a granny smith and bunch of grapes and ran to the door.

"PARK LATER LOVE YOU BYYE!" I ran outside down the suburban street. Small duplexes lined either side of me as I hurtled down the street. Once I thought I was out of sight, I slowed down and munched on my apple taking in the sights of the neighbor hood (emphasis on hood) and sounds of the birds that managed to sneak into this pit of depressed hope. It was a nice spring day which meant writing the story would be hard to do since it was November in the story. This was getting hard. Who knows who's out there reading my story right now. I don't think important people really read fanfiction looking for the next big author but I'm addicted so whatever. I turned right and kept walking past the high school, past the McD's and made a sharp left at the dog park.

It wasn't a dog park so to speak. It was a glade, a practical meadow from a fairy tale or from one of those Monet/Van Goph paintings. Green grass, freshly clipped, covered the entire area and for every three inches there was a huge patch of buttercups, violets, or miniature daises. Flowering trees like dogwoods, pears, apples, cherry, and even a single magnolia tree (though technically at this stage a bush) were sprinkled here and there far away from each other adding their own sweet smell to the symphony of scents. Rushing water from a large stream that curved and cut straight through the park like a counter clockwise "L" babbled and echoed around the glade, mixing into calls of songbirds, and the laughter of children…and whispered secrets. People were clustered in their own little herds throughout the park. A little blonde girl and her flute teacher sat on a picnic blanket nearby the streams bank closest to me, practicing "Morning Song". In the middle of the glade, a mother was holding her arms open as a toddler waddled over to her, laughing while a father recorded the episode with a camera. Farther off over the black metal bridge, across the stream, a couple sat on a park bench facing the stream, holding hands and leaning against each other warmly. Farther off behind them, a man in a pair of slacks with a plaid t-shirt was taking pictures. Yep, a scene from a fairy tale.

I knew better.

This place was the unofficial border of _Potterdale_ and _Shiningtown_; anguished/lower/middle class and middle/money-toilet-paper society. This is where CEOs jog there dogs, stoners come to smoke, people are married, cocaine is cracked, children learn to ice skate in the winter when the stream freezes solid, and where the homeless and starving live in the spring through fall under the wide bridge where the rain can't chill them and the fish swim. This is heaven and hell's child come to earth…chaos.

_Amazing how deceitful appearances could be_, I thought smirking to myself. I walked purposefully into the park following the familiar path and letting my body do it's own thing and my thoughts wander. I said softly to myself, "_God, I love it here!"_

I sprung across the grass, enjoying the feel of some of the longer grass brush against my bare ankles as I made my way to the bridge. I stooped underneath and looked around. Nope, nada hobos or stoners. I frowned in disappointment. I had been hoping to see Care bear but maybe he'd given up dope or had gone somewhere else for smoking. I didn't like marijuana or that he used it but I did like Care bear. Hopping from stone to stone I crossed to the other side and curled up on my favorite rock; a smooth grey stone high enough from mud and sand, yet right on the rivers edge. I was starting to work on editing chapter 11 and working on chapter 12 when I heard the sound of footsteps in front of me. I looked up…and saw someone I never thought I'd see again. I stood up and waved my arm wildly. "Cammy!"

"Hey!Git your butt ova here so I can kick it!" Cammy spat in mock anger. I smiled as she ran over the bridge, her chin length honey blonde hair swishing into her face with every step. She had on a pair of jean shorts and electric yellow tee paired with her pink and black tennis shoes. She made it across the bridge, stomped up to me with a _hurumph_. She crossed her arms like she was ticked off at something, "Don't you know-"

"That I'm the luckiest girl ever?" I finished. She smiled and sat down. Cammy's the sweetest blonde you'll ever meet but she lives on the other side of Potterdale. Like the 'as you drive by you look out the window and as soon as you do you lock the doors and roll up the window' kind of weird. She's sweet and funny and probably the strongest person you'll ever meet.

"I was going to say my last day, but sure.", I sat down next to her and we started talking, trying to make it meaningful since it would be our last conversation but eventually we ended up talking about of all things cats.

"I'm just saying cats would make great ninjas." Cammy stressed, exasperated at my refusal to admit defeat.

"And I'm telling _YOU_ that you're crazy." I replied rolling my eyes. "Cats would be to easy to defeat. All you'd need to do is buy a laser pointer pen and boom-too distracted to fight any more."

"Yeah but these are _NINJA_ cats. They'd be trained…" she trailed off and looked around. I looked away and tucked a piece of my blue hair behind my ear. I felt my throat start to feel tight against my will. I swallowed and focused on the sound of the stream and the light ripples made by the sunlight on the water. I asked quietly, not looking at her, "Tell me again…why are you moving?"

I heard her pick up a rock and throw it into the stream. "I told you. Why are you guilt tripping me about this?"

I shrugged, feeling guilty I had even asked. "I don't know. Maybe because you're the best friend I've ever had? Maybe because…I don't want you to go that badly?" I looked up at her. She gave me a puppy dog look and we hugged each other. I pushed away and reached into my backpack excitedly. "Oh shoot, I almost forgot."

I pulled out a necklace with a brown and gold heart attached to it. Her face lit up in a smile as I dangled it in front of her. "Its made of tiger stone or at least I think that's what the lady said it was. I thought 'hey, this goes well with her eyes and hair' and thought about how nice it would go on you, so I got for you. I also saw that there was another one too made of rose quartz so now we both have one." I reached to the pink stone heart around my neck and showed her. Cammy smiled and took it.

"Wow, this is _cool_. It's all _shimmery_ in the light and stuff." She unlocked the chain and hooked it around her neck, pulling whatever stray hairs out of the way. Adjusting it she looked at me, "How does it look?"

"Awesome" I said smiling. Cam leaned over the stream, checking out how it looked on her for herself. Then something…distracted me. I looked up and saw a guy in a deep dirty green overcoat watching us. I glared at him but he didn't look away. I couldn't put my finger on it but this guy…he looked…_familiar_.

He looked around thirty something, with oval glasses and dirty white skin that reminded me of pale cocoa powder. His hair was colored red and only the hair on top was spared from a brutal buzz cut around his head. Under the coat he was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans. I couldn't make out any specific features-he was too far away for that but…good god why did I feel like I _knew_ him? I looked towards Cammy but kept looking at the guy from the corner of my eye. The guy narrowed his eyes as I started talking, "SO, _CAM_, HOW IS YOUR PONY?-_we're being watched_."

"She looked up at me with a classic WTF look. "Um. Why?"

"Oh no reason-_causewe'rebeingwatched_-I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW _SUGAR_ IS DOING." I darted my eyes back and forth between her and the guy. Thankfully Cammy could never be an idiot…point her in a direction and she'll go sprinting. Without moving her head she looked where I was darting at. I took a chance and looked at the guy with her. Carrot top guy was heading our way and he did _not_ look happy. I guessed maybe 30-25 feet before he reached us? I wasn't good at giving numbers on distances. However what happened next made it irrelevant. She fully turned her head towards him with a big smile. She gasped, stood up and started jumping up and down with excitement like a Chihuahua on steroids while I just stared at her in shock.

"OH MY GOD OF FREAKIN AWESOMENESS! HEY, HEY, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY! DON'T MOVE I'LL BE RIGHT OVER THERE! OH MY GOSH, OMIGOSH!" I shielded my eyes as everyone in the park looked at us. Even the birds had stopped singing. The carrot top guy looked around uncomfortable-almost panicky with the attention. He wheeled around looking over the park before his eyes resting on us. Jeez he seemed as embarrassed as I was. I grabbed Cammys hand and pulled her so hard she bent down to my eye level. I leaned over towards her, my teeth locked into a fake smile, "Cammy, what are you doing?!"

She looked at me in disbelief. "You mean to tell me, that you-Honey Janine Internecine-have no idea…who that man is?!"

"No, I don't-I mean he's sorta familiar but how do you know him?" I asked.

She scoffed, "And you write Invader Zim fanfiction."

Then it clicked. The hair, the coat, the skin, the way he looked at me like he knew more than I do and could already tell I was trouble. I stood up.

"Holy crap! IT'S JHONEN VASQUEZ, LOOK!" I screamed incredulously. As soon as I said that Jhonen froze and pulled a classic 'oh shit' face. It was comical. He turned on heel and started running away towards the base of the stream, near the tunnel. Cammy immediately took off running after him shouting out "Hey wait up!" or "Sign my face!". I however had to wait behind while she ran off ahead. I quickly bent down, stuffed my white laptop into my tan letter carrier back pack and proceeded to run after my best friend. I ran across the bridge, through the meadow, and made it into the mouth of the tunnel. Cammy was inside with Jhonen Vasquez lying on the ground holding onto his ankle for dear life as he tried to shake her off him.

"Please, please, please, please, _**please**_ sign my face?! Oh pretty, pretty, _**please**_ sign my face?!" Cammy begged, her grip on his ankle relentless, even as he started dragging his legs in an attempt to get away. He scowled down at her like she was a piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe. "_Aww_, come on _**please**_? What's the big rush?"

"Let go of me demon sewer monkey!" Jhonen Vasquez screamed, his ticked off voice echoing around the concrete walls of the tunnel. I cautiously ran in. The left side was littered with gravel, sand and round skipping stones. The right side was dominated by the stream. "I don't have time for this."

This was perfect. Too perfect. I picked up my pace until I was the safe distance of three feet away. I smiled sheepishly and tucked a piece of blue hair behind my ear. He had given up yelling at my best friend and was instead focusing on getting as far away as possible. I walked right along side him. "Uh ahem, Mr. Vasquez?" I cleared my throat with a cough.

He looked at me in surprise, "What the?"

I steeled my nerves and gushed on quickly, "Um, my name is Honey…I write fanfiction about your characters online. I was wondering-well not really wondering just really curious-about how the _Squee_ movie was going along. Hmm? Maybe you could-I don't know maybe tell you're planning to release it-I **swear** I won't tell anyone." I crossed my heart to let him know I was serious. He gave out sound of annoyed horror, "What the hell is going on-OH, BLOODY REAM WHERE THE HECK DO YOU GUYS KEEP COMING FROM?! HOLES IN THE GROUND?!"

Like an idiot all I said was, "Excuse me?"

"Ugh, kid, don't get me wrong…I don't want you to think I'm a jerk or anything but…well actually I don't give a shit but-I. Need. To. Go. So," Jhonen stopped and gestured down at Cammy who oblivious to our conversation was still pleading with him, "if you could kindly get your attack monkey off my leg I'd appreciate it."

She looked up at me for the first time. "Oh thank god. Quick get his other leg."

"After you read my fanfiction. Cam don't let go!" I grabbed his arm and started pulling him back. Was this a little desperate and sad to watch… yes. But I was hoping that he'd read my fanfiction and sign my face too. (Ah, obsession.) He scowled at me and was about to speak out when a bright flash of light illuminated the cave. We all turned and looked back the way came and saw the silhouette of a man in the mouth of the tunnel. He was a forty something white guy with a red plaid t-shirt with a pair of tacky slacks. In his hands was a huge camera. I let go of his arm and took a step back.

"Ah, if it isn't my old nemesis" Jhonen asked. He tried to turn but Cammy was still attached to his ankle so he couldn't do much except hobble sideways. He crossed his arms and looked down at Cammy. "**Oh, COME ON**!"

"It's no use running Vasquez." Camera guy took a few steps forward into the cave. His skin was starting to peel off in flakes as he got closer to us with every step. Cammy let go of Jhonen Vasquez's leg, hauling herself up to her feet. She straightened out her shirt and whispered in my ear, "You see the suburban lumberjack too, right?"

"Only if you can see his skin peeling off too." I said back. I looked over at Jhonen hoping he knew what the fuck was going on here. He just kept on looking at the skin peeling man with this annoyed fascination…like he was watching a breaking news bulletin that had just interrupted his favorite program. I looked back at the skin peeling guy. His skin had flaked off completely but instead of muscle there was another layer of skin. I watched in fascinated horror as his body started contorting and elongating. Layers of fat seemed to disappear, four horns sprouted from his head, and his eyes disappeared from their sockets completely leaving them empty. I nearly screamed as his skin began burning till it was a raw sorely colored red. It wasn't until the eye appeared in the middle of it's forehead that I realized this monster and when I did all fear left me.

"Ah-ha, ha, ha, ha, Cammy, do you know what that is?!" I laughed pointing excitedly at the monster before us. The beast stopped, confused by our reaction. It cocked it's head to the side. "Do you know who you are?!" I asked the monster. It slowly shook it's head no. "You're the freaking devil from the MEANWHILE autobiography comic! Your famous!"

"_**Famous? Ah shit-DAMNIT JHONEN**_!" the devil cussed at Vasquez, who for the first time looked offended. "_**YESS**_! **IA**_**M**_ **T**_**H**_**E DEVIL! A**_**N**_**D **_**EV**_**E**_**R S**_**I**_**NC**_**E **_**T**_**H**_**A**_**T **_**ASS JHONEN**_ **E**_**V**_**E**_**R**_ **I**_**LL**_**US**_**T**_**R**_**ATE**_**D **_**ME**_**, **_**EVERY JTHM**_ **FAN **_**P**_**OI**_**NT**_**S M**_**E**_ **O**_**UTA**_**ND T**_**RI**_**E**_**S**_ **T**_**OTAKE MY PICTURE WITH THEM**_**! IT'S RIDCULOUS, THAT'S WHAT IT IS! JUST FUCKIN' RIDICULOUS! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TRYING TO STEAL SOULS WHEN EVERY OTHER GOTH KID WANTS YOUR AUTOGRAPH! **_**DA**_**M**_**N **_**Y**_**OUA**_**ND YO**_**UR**_ **M**_**I**_**G**_**H**_**T**_**YEY**_**EBAL**_**LSE**_**E**_**I**_**N**_**G**_ **AB**_**I**_**L**_**I**_**T**_**Y**_**!**"

I looked at him confused, "Uh…what the flup nub are you talking about?"

"You say fuck a _lot_." Cammy pointed out.

"Look, I don't know _why_ the FCC wants to see me but can't it wait till later?" Vasquez asked politely. Cammy and I looked at each other. We all kinda know deep down in our hearts that the devil works with the government but why would the freakin' FCC want with Jhonen Vasquez. The devil looked at Jhonen Vasquez with utter disgust. I looked past him to where my bag was sitting. If I could just reach my bag I could get out my pocket knife…

"**NO IT CAN'T WAIT TILL LATER YOU JACKNUT!" **the devil screeched. He reared on his hind legs, bringing him to a full twelve feet, which believe it or not is actually pretty damn tall. "**WE CAN DO THIS TWO WAYS JHONEN. ONE WERE WE FIGHT FULTILY AND YOU **_**EVENTUALLY**_ **THROW IN THE TOWEL AND COME WITH ME OR ONE WERE YOU THROW IN THE TOWEL **_**NOW**_ **AND AVOID GETTING YOUR **_**PERDY**_ **SHIRT DIRTY!**"

"Bring it on! Show me what you got, um…you…stork!" Jhonen reached into his long overcoat and pulled out what looked like the huge heavy end of a dog walking leash out of his pocket. I smiled. Cammy pointed to the dog walking leash thing. "And just what the heck are you going to do? Walk the dog?"

"Shush. Jhonen knows what he's doing!" I chastised. If he did what I thought he was going to do, then we'd be fine. Oh how fine we'd be. More fine than a fat lady in a twinky factory. "GO J.V KICK HIS ASS!"

"I got idea-GO AWAY!"

"Ha. He's such a joker." I elbowed Cammy in the ribs. She squeaked and rubbed them, giving me a death glare. We turned back to the fight. The devil started circling J.V, and finally when I wondered how they hadn't fallen over from dizziness, they charged.

**To be continued after chapter 20(if it gets that far.)**

* * *

-In memory of the best friend I've ever had.

I wish you hadn't moved away,

but I know you had no choice in the matter.

And I am so sorry I

broke my promise and didn't see you off!

Where ever you are…

I hope your life is better there

than when it was here.

If you're reading this…

we miss you and hope your safe.

Every time I listen to

Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

I think of how it was your favorite song

and I feel a bit better.

I miss you, Cammy!

3

H. H


	11. Chapter 10: The ZADR chapter

**Chapter 10: The ZADR confrontation chapter**

**Authors no-okay do I even need to put down 'authors note' anymore? It's not like some random southern hobo with corn in his ear walks by my house-Duedeedodeeduu lookit me IMA hobo with corn in my ears! Oh why didn't I stay in school so I could wipe off mens hands in a restroom for a living or wipe their ass in a middle class job! Oh hey look at that! Some girl must have left her laptop open on through sheer coincidence. I WILL NOW ACTIVATE MY HOBO POWERS! Wooosh fly through open window. Now I will go on and write fanfiction as a little girl about a random combination of characters I remember from the 2000s. Ain't I an awesome sauce hobo?-yeah cuz hobos do that stuff. Note sarcasm. PS-to anybody who has a hobo in your family please don't be offended by my hobo humor. I pity hobos. Donate a dollar to a hobo. They need the money. Please?**

Dr. Tonja walked past him and stood in the landing while Dib closed the real and the fake door. She took a look around at the simple light navy blue grey walls and black shag carpet before bending down at his eye level and stating, "Wow, your family really likes the color blue huh?"

Dib rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment, "Yeah pretty much everything is."

"Really? Huh, you must like the color blue then. Or hate it a lot." Dr. Tonja blew a stray strand of hair out of her face before giving a large grin. He liked it when she smiled. It made her olive eyes twinkle. He automatically gave a small smile in return. She grinned little wider and stood up again. "Now Dib, if you're ready I think we should start. Any place in particular you want to do this thing?"

Dib looked up at the tall lady in confusion. Wasn't it her job to tell him what to do? He pointed towards the arch on his right. "We could do it in the living room," he replied hesitantly, "but does it really matter where? I mean you are here to evaluate how crazy I am."

"Is that…is that why you think I'm here? To call you crazy?" The therapist frowned at him in shock. Dib felt his scythe bounce as he nodded. Dr. Tonja pulled herself up to her full height. "Dib, I can assure you that's not the case. I promise you, I don't judge. I just listen. That's all. Anything said is between you, me and the floor boards."

"Wait-so no matter what I say you can't call me crazy? Not even tell other people I'm crazy." Dib reiterated, making sure he had heard that right. "I can say anything and you can't tell anyone?"

Dr. Tonja gave a quick nod of reassurance, "Completely 100% confidentiality. Mm-hmm. Yeppers and peppers."

Dib stood still with his mouth open in disbelief before involuntarily breaking out into smirk that would've given even alien scum Zim a run for his money. "Lady by the time we're through you're gonna wish that you could. Come on," he said walking past the now very confused shrink. He walked through the arch towards the couch with the muffled clumps of the shrinks heels right behind him. The living room itself was pretty simple in actuality. Plain navy blue walls, dark grey shag carpet on the floor, mediumish size tv on a stand on the far side of the room, across was an average lovers couch with

Little brown stands on either side. Nothing was actually special about it but with whole memory thing. Dib took a deep breath then launched himself onto the couch. He did a small pirouette in mid air before crashing onto the purple cushions. He looked up at the lady hanging by the door way. She looked around before pointing through another arch that led into the kitchen.

"Would you mind if I pull up a chair?" she asked backing out of the room. Dib shook his head no, then sprawled out on the couch. He heard the soft click of her heels against the tiles in the kitchen followed by a soft scrape. _Wonder if she's going to do the whole "it all started when I was born thing",_ Dib thoughtfully thought. Dr. Tonja carried a small chair from the kitchen, proceeding to plop into it. Setting the briefcase down beside her, she opened a metal clasp and dug around inside before pulling out a small notepad and pencil.

"So Dib," She started, "Why don't we start with what happened at school today, hmm?"

"I was playing soccer during recess. Zim was supposed to be the goalie. Why he was playing was a mystery but like everything else he does it probably had something with his quest for world domination. Maybe he was trying to make a army of soccer minions or a new sort of weapon. Either way I had to check it out." Dib heard Tonja make a few scribbles on the notepad as he went on, finding his rhythm. "I got in the game and to be honest it was pretty hard. I'm not really the most popular kid in my school. They think I'm crazy." He added dismally.

"I take it you don't like the way they treat you." Dr. Tonja prodded egging him to continue. Dib pushed up his glasses before answering carefully.

"Well it wasn't always like that," Dib explained. " I used to have a few friends. But they don't like me anymore."

"What makes you say that?" Dr. Tonja asked quickly writing things down on the yellow paper.

"Carl joined other kids and started making fun of me, and Duh…come to think of it I haven't seen him since the whole moose episode. Huh…" Dib shrugged. "And then there's _Gretchen_ which is another matter completely."

"Gretchen?" Dr. Tonja's eyebrows perked. Dib gave a quick nod.

"I kinda sorta maybe had a thing for her once. She was the only one who stood by me with the whole crazy thing until I told her we couldn't be friends anymore."

"Did you not like her?"

"What! No way! Gretchen was the best. Me and her used to go stargazing with Carl. We had play dates ALL the time. She didn't even mind the paranormal. She was great." Dib smiled remembering. He stared up at the navy blue ceiling. The little white heart she drew on the ceiling was still there. He still couldn't believe she could jump that high. He pointed to the ceiling, "She made that you know. There, that little heart. During one of our play dates."

Tonja followed his gaze and gave a small smile before frowning. "If you liked her, then why would you stop being friends with her?"

Dib frowned up at the little heart. His chest felt tighter than it had a few minutes ago. He took a deep breath before continuing, "When people started…teasing me she defended me. Carl and Duh did too at first but then they left because…I think…that maybe…other people were making fun of them too. Then it was just me and Gretchen against the world. It was nice then I overheard a bunch of girls making fun of her on the playground. They were throwing stuff at her, making fun of her overbite and braces, calling her the Freaky Friend of Freakzilla…and she just stood there…taking it. Then she started started yelling at them. Asking them why they were doing this to her…and they told her…it was me or them." Dib swallowed. "So I told her later that… I never really liked her and to buzz off."

Dib took another breath. He took a few moments before rolling on his side to face Dr. Tonja. She was just looking at him, doing that searching thing with her eyes again. Dib shifted uncomfortable with the attention. Dr. Tonja noticed and shifted topics. "We got a little sidetracked. Why don't we pick up where you left off."

"After nearly getting my shins kicked out, I managed to get the ball past everyone and tried to get score a goal. I didn't mean to but I ended up hitting Zim in the face which made up for everything.", he smirked rolling back onto his back. "When I hit him, one of his contacts fell of and was trampled by the other kids. The other I think cracked or shattered or something. He started yelling at me and ran. I was…delayed by the other kids." He looked over at Dr. Tonja who nodded quietly. When he was sure she wasn't going to pop a question he continued, "I lost him in the hallway for a while but luckily Zim doesn't know the meaning of the word 'silence' so it was easy to find him. He thought he could hide in the bathroom, but I found him. I went into the stall next to him and took a picture of him without his disguise on. Here, let me just get it out…ehbububububa…eehh…here." He pulled out his iphone from his overcoat and scrolled through before pulling up the picture. Dr. Tonja shook her head.

"Maybe at the end, okay?" she crossed her legs, before blowing a stray black strand back in its place. She shifted some more, making the wooden chair creak. "Why don't we continue."

"Well after I took the picture he must have seen me because when I opened the door he was on the other side waiting for me." Dib set the phone on the floor. _Okay just drop the dead weight like it's a ball. Release and breath._ Dib went on hesitantly, "He asked what I was doing, I said nothing, he charged me, I tripped him, he fell into the toilet…and I **cough** gave him a swirly."

Dr. Tonja said nothing for a while. Dib fiddled with his fingers for a while before she started talking.

"You seem to know a lot about this Zim fellow." It wasn't a question, just a simple statement, but he took it like it was one.

"To defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then put myself in his shirt...or tunic...I don't know what exactly it is." he concluded. Dr. Tonja looked up from her notepad. She was starting to do that weird studying thing again. He asked impatiently, "What?"

Dr. Tonja cleared his throat, "Well umm, this is going to be an awkward question…but…with the way you talk about Zim…you talk with such passion. Do you have feelings for him?"

"I have feelings of hatred."

"No I mean _feelings_ for him."

Dib felt shock and disgust hit him like a tub of ice water. He snapped up in attention. Jaw dropped he turned slowly towards the woman whom he had just lost nearly all respect for. "_What?_"

"I just want to know all the facts, Dib. You could be repressing conflicting emotions that you don't find appropriate. But it's okay to-"

"_Lady…__**he is a half lizard half insectiod alien from outer space**_…I'm pretty sure that falling in love with him is technical bestiality."

"Dib being gay isn't…wait…what did you just say?" Dr. Tonja stopped mid condolence. Dib looked her over. He didn't really get what was so confusing. He had made his point pretty clear.

"That Zim is a a half lizard half insectiod alien from outer space and that falling in love with a creature that is a hybrid creature no matter how human like in appearance is sick." Dib shrugged thoughfully. "I will admit Tak did get my heart pounding a little but I think that was because she was trying to destroy the earth."

Dr. Tonja shifted in chair again giving Dib a pitying look. "Dib… that was the reason _why _you followed him into the bathroom wasn't it?"

Dib felt…hurt. He didn't know how else to brand the emotion. _Didn't she say she wasn't going to judge me? She said…she said…she lied to me. She lied to my face._ Dib pulled himself out of the slums. But she did say she was here to listen. Yes, yes, YES! He reached behind him and pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and held it out to Dr. Tonja. She looked at it with pursed lips. He shook it a few times before he lost his patience.

"Doc, if you're really here to help me-if you are _really_ here to listen then look. _Please_." He stressed slightly desperate. The therapist looked him over before frowning and giving him a quirky stare.

"Dib, have you been crying?" she asked gently, pointing a narrow finger to his face.

"WhAt? No-I was-I just-LOOK AT THE PHOTO WILL YA!" he said defensively, shaking the iphone side to side violently. 's face softened and gave a soft sigh. Dr. Tonja took the little rectangle in her hand. Her expression changed from a calm-yet-slightly-disgusted to one of mutual fascination. Her mouth dropped. She bit her lip. She skooched forward so she and Dib were elbow to elbow, angling it so that they shared the screen. She looked panicked and amazed…mainly panicked though.

"Dib what the name of ass cracking _hell_ am I looking at?", Dr. Tonja asked pointing to Zim jumping off the toilet. Dib felt-dare he jinx it?-happy! He. Felt. relieved. He leaned on his elbows, ignoring the crunching of the box springs beneath him. He looked smugly up at his very bewildered therapist.

"What you are looking at Doctor is the greatest scientific discovery since penicillin or electricity or the automobile or television remote. I give you…the Irken." Dr. Tonja looked from the screen to Dib. Her eyes where bigger than Jupiter and thats saying something. She got down on all fours and began rummaging through her black briefcase. Dib launched himself off the sofa and grabbed her arm. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm calling your father!" Dr. Tonja responded trying to shrug off her tiny attacker. Dib wrapped his arms and legs around her arm to stop her from using it. She looked down at the little 5th grader clinging desperately to her fore arm. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Dib, if you don't release my arm I WILL pepper spray you." She stated flatly, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Didn't she get it? Why didn't she get it?

"If you tell my Dad he'll just call you crazy! You don't know my Dad! He has a scientific explanation for EVERYTHING. I once showed a video with even better lighting, sound, and choreography but he just blew it off-the WORLD blew it off. Please you promised!" He loosened his grip long enough for Dr. Tonja to pull him off. He got on his knees in a praying position. Dr. Tonja looked from him to the small blackberry in her hand before tossing it in the brief case. Her face was one of utter disappointment, longing and sorrow. She looked down at Dib before setting the phone back into the leather abyss from whence it came.

"You're right Dib. I did promise. And I keep my promises and confidentiality. But," She kneeled down on the floor next to Dib, her face deadly serious. "You need to let me help you with this okay?"

"Doctor Tonja, I've been to the butt on Mercury, fought Zim to the death and stopped him from destroying the earth dozens of times. I don't really need help."

"Okay but at least let me help you with school okay?" She sounded desperate. Heck she looked desperate. That wild coyote sparkle was back in her eyes and immediately made him feel like he was too close to her face. He took a wiggle back before giving a small nod. Dr. Tonja gave a huge sigh of relief before wrapping an arm around him and giving him a small noggie, making his scythe break again for the second time today. "Aha, I KNEW you weren't insane! Just weird!"

"Okay, seriously, why is everyone touching my hair today!?" Dib shouted desperately trying to rearrange his scythe again.

**well **_**I**_ **for one am pleased with this chapter because now I have created or resuscitated a new romance category DAGR (Dib And Gretchen Romance) As I go through all the stories, I feel like they're being used **_**too**_ **much. I want to be different.**

**P.S Been looking up Zim and Gir relationships nonstop. Turns out…it is very complicated. Zim treats Gir like he doesn't care but he caves when Gir crys or gets upset. Zim thinks he's above Gir yet on the planet jacker episode he looks at gir almost for reassurance before going up to ask dib to use the telescope. And-my favorite moment by the way with Zim and Gir-they split a lick'em stick on the couch while watching the harry monkey show. THAT MONKEY! XD Thanks for reading! I appreciate you beyond belief!**


	12. Chapter 11: Starlight in a jar

**Chapter 11: Starlight in a jar**

**This episode is brought to you by this quote: "…invaders blood marches through my veins…like GIANT RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS…the pants command me…do not ignore my veins." (Ha see what I did back there? I referred to something.)**

Throwing himself against the plastic, he was just able to turn the silver knob before smacking his head against the door. He stumbled through the door, before steadying himself through desperate arm flailing. He felt pain arch through the knobs of his spine as he forced himself out of his slouch. Girs little glowing eyes were glued to the large plasma screens dangling from the ceiling. He doubted Gir would notice if a whole swarm of earthinoids barged in with guns blazing. The little slave probably would offer them cookies or tacos or some other stupid earth food. Stupid robot. Stupid spine. Zim managed to put his hands on his hips before he could bend over.

"Gir, surrender the couch. I need to crash." Zim ordered wearily. He slammed the purple plastic door shut behind him dramatically, locking it with the little silver latch. _Prehistoric but effective,_ he allowed himself to admit, _Thank Irk and his mystic scepter of deliciousness the walk from the door to the couch is short_. He turned his head away from the door in time to see Gir gasp then promptly clap both hands on top of his mouth. Gir scooted closer to the door and crouched near the armrest. Gir peeked his aqua eyes above the pastel pink sofa, Blue crescents gazed fearfully at him.

"What?" He asked impatiently. There was a small mechanical whirr and Girs head emerged fully from his hide-y hole, his silver clamps balled into tiny fists over his mouth. He unlocked his hands and mumbled a mumble before quickly covering his mouth again. Zim felt himself scowl at the sniveling metal can. "WHAT?"

"You look bad'n scary." Gir whimpered softly. Zim felt his scowl lift and anger slowly melt. He took a deep breath and sighed in exhaustion.

"Yeah, well I feel bad'n scary." He replied dismally, walking over to the couch. He turned and collapsed into an uncomfortable slouch that he was too tired to get out of. He rubbed the space between his eyes before removing the scratchy contacts and setting them down on the small stand near the phone. He removed the dirt and trash covered wig, shaking it vigorously before tossing it over his left shoulder, not really caring where it landed. When he managed to find the strength to make his jaw work he groaned out, "I had a really bad and scary day."

He stared at the endless wires and coils lining the ceiling before feeling a slight pressure on his right arm. He opened his eyes to find Gir slowly pushing him sideways. Gir hesitated when he saw him staring at him, then got up and under the arch into the kitchen. Zim heard a slight pop then the closing of the trash tube leading downstairs. Zim sighed with relief only to halt when he heard mechanical footsteps approaching.

_So close and yet so far from serenity_, Zim thought, _Wait…what the_? Harsh high pitched beeping noises were coming from the kitchen. Gir reappeared making beeping noises while walking backwards carrying what looked like a ham wrapped in a blanket. Zim watched as the little robot carried the bundle towards the couch. The SIR unit hopped onto the couch, barely making a dent in the fabric.

"For a moment I was afraid you set the kitchen on fire again." Zim told the little robot. Gir looked up at him smiling. He then continued unwrapping the bundle. Pulling back the pink fabric Zim finally saw a white first aid kit, a light blue furry pillow, and what looked like a bunch of grapes. Gir draped the blanket over his lap, and fluffed the pillow before forcibly shoving the pillow behind his head. Zim shifted up around before giving Gir a suspicious glance. Suddenly it all made sense. He grabbed the imposter and shook him furiously shouting, "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH GIR?!"

"I'M…eh heh…i dunno!" Zim flinched at the slaves stupidity. He stopped shaking the robot and set him back down on the couch. Gir wobbled back and forth before falling face first on the floor with a clank. Zim leaned down, only slightest bit concerned. Gir suddenly popped up and clambered over the couch as far away from his master as possible. Zim reached out for the first aid kit and scooped up the white box with one black claw. He looked back at his slave in confusion.

"What's this about?" he asked. Gir turned to face him.

"There's a hole in your head riiiiiight here." Gir answered gesturing above his left eye. Zim touched the spot and winced as he made contact with the sore spot of where his gash used to be. Gir scooted closer as he flipped open the box and pulled out a small pastel green tub similar to a small human makeup jar. It wasn't big, just 2 inches tall but inside…Zim unscrewed the cap and looked inside smirking. Gir gave a little 'ooooo' as little flecs of light bounced off the cream onto him. The pale white cream, caught in one of the moons rays, fractured the light, giving the illusion of tiny stars caught in a single jar. Zim scooped a small dabs worth of the cream on his index claw, and applied the amount to the area above his eye. He felt the sensation similar to cold liquid spread throughout his body and seep deep into his skin. He didn't allow himself the pleasure of smiling, mainly because if he showed it was good Gir might get into it and waste it trying to make himself 'glitter'. He screwed the cap back on and set it back in the box. He looked down at Gir who sat next to him marveling at his forehead, which he knew from experience was healing on fast forward. Zim looked at the huge flatscreens before looking back at Gir.

"Watcha watchin?" he asked.

Gir rose his hands above his head, "A dvd!"

Zim just looked the screen. The TV was on mute and was still on the Main menu. Zim looked from the silver robot to the plasma then back to the robot again. "Umm", he asked pointing to TV, "Wouldn't it be better if we I don't know…turned on the sound?"

Gir looked at the screen. "OOOhhh yEEEAAAhh."

Zim resisted the urge to face palm. He reached down in between pink couch cushions and dug around for the remote. After a few minutes of finding a few undesirables, (mainly old moldy tacos which Gir unfortunately ate before he could throw out, which even he had to admit was a new low), he found the silver remote and pressed play and unmated. The screen turned black and with a flourish and a fanfare showed the entire earth floating through space before disappearing into the gloom.

"Oooh look! I know that thing! IT's PLUTO!" Gir anouced pointing at the blue sphere.

**Many tedious song filled minutes later**

Gir turned as the convict in the coach began to sing…_**again**_, towards Zim. He looked at Zims legs hidden under the pink blanket then at Zims face.

Zim frowned. "No _way_. There is no way on Irk that your head is going on my lap." Zim folded his arms across his chest and tried to focus back on the film. He glanced down at Gir then back at the movie then back at Gir who had put on his best pleading face. He felt his will starting to crumble. He shook his head before turning back to see Gir quietly trailing a silver trail of water down his face. He clenched his fists to keep himself from screaming. He grit his teeth angrily before managing to growl out, "FINE! But if you bawl on my leg so help me-"

"YEAAY!" Gir hugged his face before dropping his head against his lap. Zim grimaced as the heavy canister fell like a ton of bricks on his knee.

"_I don't like you_." Zim murmured, more to himself than actually at Gir, who now lay sucking his thumb on (regretfully) his lap. He cautiously put a hand against the little slave and let it rest on his head. He examined the little slave scrupulously for damage. Soft turquoise light shone out of his shoulder, wrists, chest piece and antenna joints, making the bobbles pulse and beat out in the rhythm of a heartbeat. The grey bodice making up most of his slave contrasted nicely with the silver head and appendages the tallest had installed onto him. There were no signs of rust or damage despite Girs less than amazing record of abuse and sometimes plain neglect. Gir, never taking his eyes off the screen, grabbed part of the long blanket dragging on the floor and pulled it over him, snuggling deep into the softness of the blanket. Zim watched him sigh in contentment before putting on that _stupid_ tongue-y grin of his. His master twiddled with the antenna on top of Girs head before getting bored again, turning his attention to the film again.

There was something about this 'Javert' that made him feel…strange. He would never admit to liking him, but he would admit begrudgingly that he had some qualities that you'd find in a good invader; loyalty to the law, duty above all else, espionage,(me: his disguise is amazing note sarcasm) and relentlessness. He wondered if humans would be able to survive Hobo13 or pass the trials on Devastis. He had seen lower species on Hobo13 so maybe things had changed while he was gone and conquered inhabitants could become soliders? Humans weren't as durable as Irkens were. Their bones broke too easily and they weren't strong enough to survive being blasted by a cannon into space…but still they were persistent and that was both good and bad. His pondering was interrupted as Girs started humming along to the song. Zim blinked realizing he hadn't been paying attention in the slightest to what was going on. Some earth punk was waving around a ridiculous red banner singing about…singing? Zim gave the overly enthusiastic flag waving weirdo a questioning look. Okay, even for humans that was redundant. He rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. The pillow encased his head with its softness successfully drowning out the sounds of human voices and Girs soft sobs leaving him alone with his thoughts. _Red and black…pish…what kind of colors are they? Red and black are only good for evil goat boy eyes, fruit, and human blood. What do humans see in those colors? They are not as beautiful or passionate as the mighty pink. They're nothing compared somber, royal, luscious color of purple. They aren't very good colors._ Zim smacked his lips. _Wonder if there's any cola left in the fridge? Should probably restock the pantry while I'm at it._ Zim shrugged indifferently…

_Wait._

_Darkness_

_Stars_

_Solar eclipse_

_Door_

_Darkness_

_Lab_

_Metal_

_Eyes_

_Red eyes in the dark_

"Gir! The lab!" he bolted upright, all exhaustion escaping from his body. As soon as Gir raised his head of his lap, he tore the blanket aside and forced himself not to run like a crazy lunatic across the tan tiled floor into the shiny trash can; instead he ran like a normal lunatic across the floor into the kitchen with Gir following him like a shadow. Gir ran ahead of him, pressed the foot pedal and stood in salute as he hopped into the trash can, landing gracefully on the steel platform. The lid closed with a clang. The grey circle bobbed from impact before slowly sinking past the topsoil deeper into the earths crust. "Computer. Take me to HUB! Level 7! Sector 8! _Now_!"

The clear tube glowed white before the platform descended rapidly towards the lowest level of the base. Zim felt his stomach fly into his chest. He looked out into the earth through the glass. Tubes bearing the Irken symbol replaced the bits and pieces of human junk like bones, bottles, lost toys and coins as he sunk below. _Amazing how much filth the humans had buried away overtime_. Zim noted_, when this planet is conquered I wonder if the organic sweeps will be able to kill things __under_ _the surface?_ Zim looked up as the glass in front of him shimmered slightly, rippling like water when a stone is dropped before a hole appeared in the center of the ripple. The hole expanded to form a perfect oval which he promptly stepped out of as soon as he heard the ding of the elevator. He stepped out onto the hub.

The Hub was a domed room that made a perfect circle. A thin computer monitor the size of the Times Square Jumbotron was attached to the stainless steel purple wall opposite of the elevator. Thousands of cables ran from the bottom half of the sphere…underneath those metal coverings were raw wires making the metal coils buzz slightly with electricity. Zim rushed down the catwalk onto the adjoining crows nest in the center of the room. When he arrived at the crescent table, he cracked his knuckles and snapped his fingers.

"Wakey wakey, COME ON, COME OOONN ALREADY!" he snapped. The tabletop flickered bright pink Irken symbols forming an advanced control board. The monitor turned itself on with a whirl and soon a loud snoring sound echoed from the speakers.

The snoring broke off with a snort as the computer woke up.

"Uggghhhh…weren't you just here like…eight hours ago?" the COMPUTER asked.

Zim nodded the question off, "Yes, yes, oh that reminds me, how are the narwhales doing?"

The computer monitor fizzled with snow before a security fed leaked onto the monitor. Two narwhales swum in a tank filled to the brim with salt water in frustration trying to eat the bagels he had slid purposefully down those exceptionally pointy horns. The voice boxes he had placed on their throats kept crying out in despair, "…don't understand this. My mouth! My mouth! Get into my mouth…you delicious goodness GET INTO MY MOUTH! _WHY _WON'T YOU GET INTO MY MOUTH!"

"_**INGENIUS**_!" he proclaimed. He reached into one of the hidden pockets on his shirt, pulled out a small purple flash drive and plugged it into the UV port. "With this new upgrade, you should be able to connect to _any_ WIFI signal within 20 miles!"

"Oh joy." COMPUTER stated sarcastically.

He leaned forward placing both hands on the table waiting for an answer. He quickly grew impatient. He waved impatiently with his hands, "_Weeeell_ how do you feel?"

"Like someone just shoved a piece of metal into my-"

"Good, good," he went on, not really caring about the answer. He swept his hand across the touch screen and a new set of controls zoomed in from the left. Making a sweeping arch with his finger, he opened the new program on the dock. The compass, when clicked, started…

"Is it supposed to be dancing?" Zim asked the COMPUTER. In rhythm of his two hearts it bounced, rising and falling like a dancer leaping and landing. He could picture the COMPUTER scowl as he snapped, "How should I know?"

Zim stood still for what felt like centuries when there was a sharp bing from the elevator behind him. He turned and saw Gir skipping along the metal catwalk, each skip producing a sharp metal bang from the catwalk. Why on Irk was Gir so heavy? Gir stopped his little skips and stood beside him before giving a little gasp of pleasure. He heaved himself up onto the glass counter top and tried pressing buttons. He felt himself smirk inwardly. Well at least I know the new table serves its purpose, Zim thought as Gir began banging at the buttons in frustration. He turned his attention back to the monitor. A small "window" appeared of the screen. On a plain white background, in bright bold colors was the title 'Google'.

"Google?" he scoffed, "What is there to google at?!"

"Sir-"

"OH MY GOOOOOOOD wE gonna watch Cat videos?" Gir asked excitedly hopping from side to side.

"No, Gir, we are not watching cat videos because they are stupid and only stupid people like stupid things. We have a new enemy Gir! Humans use this aaalllll the time. We can use this against them and find out " He typed in antichrist in the search box and clicked the little search button. Immediately after clicking, if the little fine print could be believed, about 8,680,000 links appeared. Zim gasped. He looked up at the ceiling where, somewhere above him, the master brain was stored. "WHY WAS ZIM NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS AWESOMENESS!?"

"You were busy with trying to destroy the earth."

"Oh right. I wonder…" Zim looked back at the monitor. An idea hit him. He typed in "how to destroy the earth". 84,100,000 results from all over the earth poured their knowledge into his computer frame in less than 0.23 seconds. Zim stared at the monitor. "Why would they put that online? Never mind."

He clicked the back button and scrolled down, clicking and reading from a satanist website, "Blah, blah, blah, _ruler of all time_, blah, blah, boring, _servitude forever_… well…this

is…interesting?" he looked at a picture of what the 'antichrist' was supposed to look like. A man with a goatee stood upon a pile of flaming skulls, ram horns protruded from his temples, tail and bat wings emerged from his back, and his feet where that of a goats. Zim looked at the picture long and hard. _This couldn't be the same child…could it be he was lying? And if he did, __why_ _would he lie? _ Zim shook his head trying to clear it unsuccessfully. _There's something wrong with that smeet. The way his eyes changed, vanished into thin air made the cavern pressure increase...how did he do that? How could something do that? It's impossible. The cavern…that brat…the tables…the mosaic on the floor… _"This doesn't make any sense."

He clicked the back button and typed in underground classroom.

_I don't know what they're playing at,_ he snarled in his head, _but soon you will know the_-"Gir!", he screamed as a little window opened up with a kitten playing a kitten opened on top of the search results. He exited out of the screen while Gir protested. He looked at the little robot. Then back at the monitor, then back at the controls, then back at Gir. "How did you do that if you don't have finge-you know what I don't want to know."

He turned back onto the screen. Nothing came up. Zim slammed his fists on the desk, outraged, "How come they have 84,100,000 ways to destroy the earth but NOT have anything on these _underground classrooms_?" He glared at the screen angrily, daring it to answer. It remained as blank as ever.

"Fine. If you want something done," Zim turned on heel for the elevator, his slave following in tow like a shadow. He stepped inside. "you got to do it yourself. COMPUTER, take us to the launch pad."

"Where we goin'?" Gir asked once they were moving up the chute. Zim looked down at his slave and replied curtly, "A field trip."

"Woohoo!"

**I will NOT apologize for not having posting for so long...okay...well...I'm a little sorry...sorta.**


	13. Chapter 12: Horrible Awful Tuesday

Chapter 12: **Horrible Awful Tuesday**

**_Yeah, yeah, yeah it's been forever since I updated. Hate me if you will but when you break your laptop and have to WORK for a new one then start an entirely long chapter from scratch then you'll be able to judge me. Until then you can swallow this and suck on the words that come from my sick and twisted awesome sauce machine of mine. So prepare to suck it!...okay nobody take this out of context okay. This is an overview of Dibs day and what an average day is for him._**

**_Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results each time. - Narcotics Annon._**

_A city was burning below him. He turned in his side of the cruiser. Zims eyes were fixed on the burning sky, billowing black smoke and ash from the bodies and buildings below rising into the air. Zim looked over at his riding partner for a moment before focusing on piloting again. Dib waited for the usual rise of hate and fear, but it never came. He felt strangely calm. Maybe Carl was right. Maybe he was going to die. His uniform, so sleek and light on the ground when standing, made sitting comfortably in the small aircraft impossible. He shifted awkwardly in place. Packs were useful but honestly annoying as hell. He fiddled with his gun checking to make sure it was still spotless. He looked over at his...companion, trying to find something to say. Zim was the one to break the silence._

_"Never thought I'd go down fighting with an alien." Dib turned in surprise. Zims head was still turned to the large window. Dib sighed. He leaned forward marveling at the devastation below. A few more minutes and they'd reach their ron de vu point with the others. He turned to Zim. "You know what?" Zim finally turned to him. Dib found himself smiling, "I was about to say the same thing."_

_ Zim let out a sad sigh. Zim pushed a button and turned to face him completely. His deep purple maroon suit stood out in stark contrast to his own black suit. The bright pink mark on his forehead glowed. His voice was eerily casual when he asked, "You worried about her?"_

_Dib felt a numb blow to his heart. He swallowed, "Yeah." Zim nodded, "Don't be." Before he could stop himself he asked, "How's Gir doing?" Zim stopped, immediatly scowling. "Fine. When I get my hands on that insolent fool, I'm gonna kill him." _

_"Can you promise me something?" Dib tried not to sound stupid. Zim leaned back surprise covering his face. Dib pointed to the scene of destruction below. "Promise me your on my side this time." Zim smirked. "Now where have I heard that before, hmm? I told you before, I know not of sides but I will concede to this. The new king must die." Zim started to turn back to fly the ship. He paused, leaned over and whispered, "On one condition." Dib raised an eyebrow. Zim went on, "If captured, I'll kill you if you kill me first. Deal?" He reached out his hand. Dib shook it. "Deal. Wait how'd that work out if your dead?"_

BEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP

Stupid clock. Killjoy.

Dib groaned, rolling over on his side. He reached out into the darkness, fumbling for the snooze button. He felt the smooth plastic button and pressed it down. He rolled onto his side. He didn't want to go to school today. He so didn't want to go to school today. He turned flat on his back and stared up at the blurry ceiling. He wondered what type of horrors awaited him today. How bad the bullying would be. If he should follow Tonjas advice. He took a deep breath…and slowly let it out. Playing the sick card would be pointless. His Dad-Dib stopped mid thought as his throat tightened a bit. Pushing aside the balloon of emotion, he sat straight up and flung himself out of bed. He pulled on his glasses and got dressed. He picked one of his many shirts and black pants. He walked down the hall into the bathroom, giving himself a quick lookover before heading downstairs. Dragging a small step stool over to the sink, he looked himself over. He sighed at his broken scythe. He reached into the opened a tub and slicked back his hair into a sharp scythe. Nodding approvingly, he admired himself in the mirror. He felt a sharp shove on his side and fell to the tiled floor. Gaz stood on the step stool, brushing her hair into place in her usual black jumper/grey shirt/pink tight combo. "The back."

"Hmm?" Gaz grunted, looking down at him. He heaved himself up off the white tiles. Brushing off the nonexistant dirt he remarked, "The back? Of your hair? You missed that."

Gaz turned to the mirror and dissecting her reflection viciously. The entire back of her head was pure unfiltered bedhead. Tufts of soft purple hair swirled in knots and worked into other knots that made up BIGGER knots. Gaz twisted her neck to the side, an annoyed grunt escaped her lips as she began swishing the black brush through her hair. Dib watched this for a few moments before leaving. Halfway down the hall he heard a snap of a brush being broken and his sister mutter, "STUPID BRUSH murmurmurmur."

He stopped in his tracks and sighed. Not even looking back he asked, "Brush broke again?"

"Yeah." His sister leaned out of the doorway. He eyed the broken handle in her hands. She threw it at his feet and slammed the door. Bending down he picked up the black handle and shoved the plastic into his pants pocket. He thumped downstairs and into the kitchen to make breakfast. He was halfway through pouring the last of the Count Cocofang into a bowl for Gaz when the floating Professor Membrane screen wandered into the kitchen.

"Good morning children. Remember to walk the dog, take out the trash, do the dishes, and don't open the door to strangers."

"Yeah yeah," Dib said to the floating head. The floating screen flew out the window and exploded into a million pieces. Little bits of debris rained from the sky like…rain. Dib frowned out into the back yard as a large piece fell down and crushed a hobo holding a hot dog. He shook his head.

"What're you doing to?" He turned away from the sink. Gaz stood in front of the fridge door, digging around its contents for the milk.

"Dad's dumb monitor exploded in the backyard." He hopped off the kitchen counter, barely managing to keep the bowls from spilling out onto the floor. He set the bowls on the table. He hopped into his chair. "I think it crushed a hobo."

"That is pretty funny." Gaz hauled out a quart of milk from the fridge. Gaz came back, smirking, with the milk and turned it over onto her Cocofangs. Chunks of milk poured from the spout and covered the chemically sweet smell of Cocofangs with a bitter, sour stench of expired milk. Gaz blanched sticking out her tongue. Dib made a mental note to pick up milk on the way home and took the container from Gazs hands. "Ugh…it smells like a pig."

" If you're that hungry, I'll find you something else. " He felt his eyes roll involuntarily in their sockets._ I'm was probably the only person who could get away with that_, he thought to himself. He tossed the milk and cereal into the trashcan, turned, and saw his cereal disappear into Gazs mouth. "Hey!"

Gaz opened her eyes and gave him one of her famous half open caramel eyed stares. He stopped in mid protest. "Uh, yeah sure, go ahead. I wasn't going to eat that anyway."

She went back to eating his cereal. He sighed and decided to skip breakfast. He headed to the living room, sat on the floor and flipped through the channels until he saw a special program catch his eye. He leaned forward in anticipation as the announcer began with the usual spiel and pictures of his father and his amazing accomplishment.

"Now. The man whom without, the world falls into complete and utter chaos and the inventor of super toast…"

"Gaz, hurry up! It's DAD." Dib hollered. A quick tink of her spoon hitting the bowl, the pat of her footsteps and she was there, sitting cross legged on the floor an unreasonable distance away from him.

"DR. PROFESSOR MEMBRANE!" the screen showed his dad appear on a platform rising from the grey floor. He waved to the audience and took a bow. The unseen audience roared in hysteria. Dib felt a surge of pride run through him. His Dad was so cool! Professor Membrane stepped off the platform onto a small lab complete with beakers, bunsen burners and hydrochloric acid. White walls, black cabinets, and random lab equipment embellished the room, adding a sense of realness to the otherwise useless set.

Professor rose his hand for silence, "Thank you, thank you." An immediate silence took the room. His father walked up beside a table in the middle of the 'room'. He began, "Hello my fellow homosapians! Another day in a world full of mystery, full of excitement and SCIENCE! As always, we will open the show with questions sent in by YOU from ALL OVER THE WORLD!"

The crowd screamed in excitement.

"Yes, yes, I know. Exciting stuff right?! RIGHT?! OF COURSE IT'S RIGHT! Now on with SCIENCE!" Professor Membrane exclaimed in over enthusiasm, arms raised over his head. Dib looked up from the flat screen to the clock above on the wall. He jumped with a start. 7:30. Skool started at 8:30. He jumped up running to the landing. Calling over his shoulder at his sister, "Gaz! The time! Hurry up we gotta go!"

Gaz appeared by his side at the coat rack. He brushed aside the eye roll she shot at him and grabbed his black overcoat from the wooden peg on the wall along with Gazs black coat.. Somewhere along the line he had dropped his backpack down next to hers in the landing. Scooping up both, they slid on their shoes and walked out the door.

Later on in the day, this happened at some point maybe probably yeah it happened...

"Dib!"

"Ehwah?" Dib snapped his neck up. The entire classroom, minus Zim, was staring at him. Ms. Bitters, the living embodiment of creepy, scowled down at him, " Thank you for joining the realm of the living again, Dib. Now tell me... _what's the 6th noble gas?_"

"Uh, radon?" Dib replied. Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes, hissed, and slunk back to the front of the class. Dib blushed and looked at the clock. Eleven eleven? Geez, had he really been asleep that long? He glanced over at zims empty seat. Ms. Bitters said he had a concussion, where was he really?

"Now, time for the best part of the school year." She grinned venomously, "It's time to learn about living things by _cutting_ open there dead bodies and examining their organs inside of _their lifeless, decaying bodies_."

From the back of the room a voice cried out, "Um Ms. Bitters? Is this legal?"

"I'm talking about frogs, Gretchen. " Ms. Bitters corrected. Dib whipped his head around as soon as he heard her name. Gretchen looked the same as ever with her overly large over bite and deep maroon hair the color of wine pulled back into two pig tails. She looked the same as when he'd left her. Ms. Bitters slunk behind her desk into the wooden chair. She looked over every child before her until her spectacles rested upon him. "The frogs are downstairs in the basement. Gretchen you and...Dib, will go downstairs. And NO SNOOPING! That means _you_, Dib."

Gretchen got out of her chair, her red pigtails swishing side to side with each step to the door. Dib, astounded by his luck, bolted through the classroom out into the empty hallway. As soon as Gretchen closed the door behind her the words "We need to talk." came tumbling out before he could stop them. She whipped around in surprise. Dib gulped, suddenly unsure of how to go about this. What had Dr. Tonja said? Just tell the truth. They strolled down the hall both waiting to see what would happen next.

He took a deep breath and went on, "Remember when we were in third grade and we friends?"

"Yeaaaah." Gretchen face was immediatly guarded better than fort knox. She started walking down the hall. Dib walked with her going on, "Well, do you want to be?"

"_WHAT?!_" Gretchen stopped in shock.

"Do you want to be friends with me?"

"...maybe." Gretchen grinned sheepishly at him. She kept walking down the hall carrying out a conversation but he couldn't hear past the voices singing _SHESAIDYESSHESAIDYESSHESAIDYES! _in his head. They reached the end of the hallway. Dib put his hand on the basement door, "Trust me, Gretchen your _not_ going to regret this."

He flung open the door and nearly ran straight into the person on fire.

**_"I believe everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."-Marilyn Monroe_**

**_Who's the person on fire? Why should you care? Is anyone still following this story after not updating for 2 or 3 months? WHO KNOWS!_**


	14. Chapter 13 The Unexpected Variable

Chapter 13: An Unexpected Variable in the equation

**I just realized something...I leave a lot of Authors Notes about nothing in particular. So I will make them shorter as I have received some harsh reviews from the voice inside my head. Wrote this at, like, twelve thirty...six in the morning so... that's it I really don't have anything else to say. Okay...enjoy.**

The DOD was _really _starting to become a pain in his ass. There was only so much he could do in such a short period of time, even with an entire industry at his command. The DOD had asked him to invent a new type of weapon. _What kind of weapon_, he asked. Their reply? _Um, I think we want it to be red,_ they said. _Uuuugh, I seriously don't want to live on this planet anymore_, He groaned internally, squeezing the bridge of his nose. He was seriously thinking that the ENTIRE GOVERNMENT was suffering from a case of testicular elephantitis. Demanding weapons left and right, who did they think they were? Oh yeah. The government. He went back to welding the tiny microchip into place for the _Aurora_ when a few seconds later he was interrupted by the sharp tweeting of the telephone. He tapped the small ear piece and took the call personally, praying to nobody in particular that it wasn't the DOD again. "Hello you've reached, Doctor Professor Membrane, whom is calling?"

"Doctor Membrane?"

"Oh. Doctor Tonja." He remarked slightly surprised that Doctor Tonja was actually calling him. A thought occurred to him and his heart leapt into his chest. He tightened his grip on his weldermagastroficofibbuler, "What's wrong?"

"Membrane, you know I can't give you an actual answer. That's a breach in patient privilege." Tonja sounded exhausted. He knew the feeling and empathized with her silently over the line. His mind raced with a thousand awful situations his son might have to go through to make him well; hypnotherapy, institutionalization, being questioned over and over again, padded cells, experiments, nurse clowns-oh god no! "Tonja for his sake at least give me a hint."

"...Well this is going to be a shocker for you but" Tonja went on suddenly upbeat, "you're the father of a perfectly mentally stable son whose only faults are having a globoid head by happenstance and being confused." Professor Membrane felt his heart suddenly bob up from the depths of his worry into a mist of confusion. He stood up from the steel table, clicked a button turning the weldermagastroficofibbuler off, and gave the disembodied voice his full attention. He reviewed what he'd just heard and asked, "How can that be possible?"

He could practically see Tonja biting her lip, "...You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

Tonja gave a soft sigh and explained slowly, "You may not notice this, what with you being away from him so much, but your son, Dib is smart. He is extremely well rounded and mature for his age-like a little walking adult in the way he views the world. He's able to empathize, see an issue from a multiple view points and understand that some things are more important than himself, things that most adults aren't able to comprehend. However, Dib is lacking... support."

"Tonja please. I'm tired and have as a result of my working 72 hours straight I have reduced my actual ability to think by ninety percent and am doing physical work." He stared furiously at a blank spot on the white tiled wall. Nearby, he was vaguely aware of the interns, assistants, and technicians slowing down on their work to watch. He ignored them, letting some of todays frustration leak out into his voice, "_Just tell me what the heck is going on._"

"He's confused!" Tonja gushed out, "He doesn't know how to feel or deal with these thoughts or know if he's supposed to be feeling this way. Because he _is_ this mature, he has little to no common ground that other children have so he's isolated from his peers. The worst part is that since he knows he's different and doesn't understand why he has to be different. He needs someone to show him that the way he's feeling is okay and that he's not alone. The short story, Membrane?! _He needs a fucking __**parent or someone **__to care about him_."

Membrane threw his hands up in the air, "You can't expect me to put my son before the world, Tonja."

"And I'm not asking you too!" Tonja retorted. They both took a deep breath, giving each other time to cool off. He walked around the desk, sat down with his back to the silent audience behind him. He squeezed the inside of the bridge of his nose, trying to relieve his headache without success. Though it pained him to admit it he knew he wasn't able to be with his son WITHOUT giving control to the idiots who kept blowing his lab up. It would also be selfish of him to put his family before the rest of the planet. He could compromise, though every compromise he had ever made to balance family and work _sucked_. His mouth went along with the trail of thought, deciding to do the talking for him, "I could set up a floating monitor in the house so that I could skype to them while I was at work. Those recorded reminders have _got_ to be out of date by now. Or work longer hours, I mean I'm already working more than 142 hours a week. I really don't know if I can work any more. Or maybe..." He droned off realizing how ridiculous both options would be. For a few moments there was silence.

"Maybe you could try calling a certain woman who, for the past ten or eleven years has been wondering what her kids have been up to or jeez how about what they look like?" Tonja snapped. Her venom was lost upon him as he was still trying to figure out how to respond to that. Devi...was alive and wanted to be with him-no his _kids_? He asked, "If that's true then why haven't I been contacted by her? I heard about the plane crash and I assumed that she'd been...ya know." _Dead._ Tonja huffed, annoyed, "Uh, no! Jeez is that why you never called her? You thought just cause a plane crashed into her apartment that'd kill her? "

"I suppose not, death's probably too afraid of her to take her.."

"Damn right it is. Soo?"

"So what?"

"You'll do it?"

"...I'll...think about it. Is she really better?"

"Yes you overly exalted fool, do you think I would recommend calling her if she was still sick. But you should call her like now. She's probably on her way to the studio and, trust me, she does NOT like to be disturbed when she gets in the zone. So we still cool?"

"Yeah, alright latergottagoBYE!" he finished quickly, eager to hang up. He was ecstatic and scared and nervous at the same time. Would she be angry at him or relieved that she would see their kids or..._their kids_. How would he tell them? How do you explain something this...strange. Not even strange it was... he didn't even know what to call this situation. He heard a cough, turned around and saw fifteen sets of eyes staring blankly back at him, their eyes hidden behind pairs of reflective goggles (that he supplied them). He spun around and made sure to get eye contact with everyone before reminding the entire room, "It isn't wise to eavesdrop on the _person who signs your __**paycheck**_!"

Immediately, people were running to get papers and pencils, crashing into each other in their rush to look busy. He smiled, even though he knew no one was able to actually see it. He walked over to the phone nearby the wall and started dialing. After a few rings a female picked up and answered, "Wet Jimmy's Gourmet Assmeats! Do this be pick or delivery?"

"Uh, Devi?"

"Atticus?!"

**Look, you know what to do by now. You're not stupid. Review. Favorite. Tell your friends you think this story is awesome sauce... lie and say that it's awesome sauce or I'll make you a) eat candy covered in super glue or b) hang you upside down in my basement closet then make your ears bleed by playing two speakers on full blast next to your ears.**


	15. Chapter 14:Flectere si nequeo Superos

_**Chapter 14: Flectere si nequeo Superos, Acheronta movebo**__**(-latin)**_

_**There's a lesson hidden in everything**_

_**you just have to find it.**_

_**-Dorian Innes**_

**_ Z_****_IM_** rummaged through paper after paper, file after file completely frustrated after not finding anything significant after hours of exploring and getting lost. This laboratory had been a complete and utter waste of time. It was similar to the one he had been in briefly hours ago with the...Pepito. Stalactites reigned from on high on the ceiling, some even met and combined with the grey stalagmites on the floor. In between the large stalactites, bright white rectangles shown florescent light out into the darkness cutting through it like a knife. On the right side of the cavern, a wall of large white cryostasis pods stood side by side, their frosted glass doors hiding their insides. Steel operating tables were lined up the left side against the walls, their silver surfaces littered with metal instruments. The only difference were the three filing cabinets near a light blue door and the metal and glass cupboards lining the left side of the room. He gave the papers in his hand a quick look over before tossing them over his shoulder onto the floor with a frustrated growl. He hopped out of the top filing drawer into a huge pile of papers coming up to his chest. He wadded through the papers, musing aloud, "This is ridiculous! We've _spent hours _searching and found nothing! WHY would pig smellies keep _worthless_ paper scraps? They're just chicken scratches."

"Itty bitty chicken nugget scratches." Gir added from beneath the sea of papers.

"If **_I _**were in charge such things would be thrown away and the idiots along with'em. C'mon, **GIR**. The next room AWAITS!"

"Woo!" Girs head popped out of the sea of black and white. He spewed paper airplanes out of his mouth, giggling as they flew away. "I'm a pa-PAR volcano."

"No, **GIR**. Don't be no smart." Zim grabbed one of the airplanes, crushed it in his mighty fist, and threw the paper angrily at his slaves stupid silver head. The paper ball bounced off the robot, causing it to begin another giggling fit. The invader was about to knock the slave senseless when he felt something.

_Sensed_ something.

He whipped his head around to face the blue door, his antennae shuddering viciously. He felt them before he smelt them. The familiar sensation of an invisible hand lightly tickling the cilia on his antennae told him someone was coming. The smell of blood, sweat, fear and urine he picked up told him this was bad. Heavy footsteps and raised voices just outside the door confirmed it. Zim turned around, grabbing Gir in a single swoop. He looked quickly around the lab looking for a safe place to hide. They were so close. He looked up and found the perfect hiding spot-an empty patch between four stalactites. The voices stood outside the door. Zim extended his SPYDR legs as high as he could make them go. The knob turned- he practically flew into the stalactites pointed asylum-and a group of earthinoids stormed in. Zim covered Girs mouth with a gloved hand and held him tighter in case the robot tried to escape. He counted seven earthinoids in all-one leader, two obviously in trouble, each one having two guards holding him from running. All of them were wearing the same white lab coats and bug eyed goggles. Zim slowly moved forward down the stalactites, quiet as the yumak stalking its prey, intrigued as he watched the leader scream "Bring them to there knees!" and the four men blindly shove them to the ground. Their knees make a strange _twap _noise when hit against the hard stone. Irkens did not operate this way. He had never seen earthinoids operate this way.

_Fascinating._

The leader rubbed his blue gloved hands through his black and yellow hair. He walked away from the two men, one was an old human-so old his hair was silver as metal-the other barely an adult. Both of them had red rims around their eyes,.. why? The young one smelled like urine. Did he... did he _pee_ himself? Sick. The leader walked toward the young man, carefully removed his goggles, then, suddenly, backhanded the young one. The boy spat out blood. The old man lunged at him, fighting the grips of guards A & B. "Leave him alone!"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" The leader screamed. Zim looked quickly at the faces. Eyes concealed with bug eyed goggles, impossible to read, impossible to see. The leader pointed a shuddering hand at the youngest one and said, "Put him on a table." The guards for the young one-begging and pleading and screaming-dragged him against his will to the operating table directly below Zim. They set him down with a thud. The leader strode quickly to their side and ordered them to hold the boy down. The boy struggled but soon started sobbing violently, his sobs replacing his screams. The whites of the boys eyes were clearly visible to Zim, the gaps quickly blocked and unblocked by the boys grey pupils. He was panicking. Not good. The leader reached under the table and brought out straps of leather and tied his chest, then middle section, then legs tightly to table. The old mans screams were getting annoying. "NO, please don't touch him it was me please NOO! NOo-ooh-oh." Guard B put a hand over his mouth but Zims hearing was so sharp he could still make out the words in the muffled scream. "Please no don't touch him it was me**_no_** don't stop, stop, stop-" He chose to ignore the mans pathetic pleading and searched for the leader who, had at some point, wandered over to the large steel cabinets. The leader opened one of the doors up with a _creak_, reaching immediately for one of the many bottles inside. He grabbed one, read the white label quickly and walked calmly back to the boy. The room became very quiet. He leaned on his elbows holding the bottle so the prisoner could see it.

"You know, Jared I never really would've pegged you for a squealer. You were a good friend to me, ya know that right? Almost like a son." The leader gazed disappointedly at the bottle, his voice smooth like silk. The boy-Jared hiccupped, his face tight with fear. Zim felt a shudder run down his spine as the leader used his other hand to gently stroke the boys pale face. "But all friendships must end eventually I suppose. He grabbed Jareds face harshly, squeezing his cheeks together. His voice took on an edge, "_Why? Who? Who did you tell_?!"

The boy said nothing. How could he? The leader was squeezing his face so hard it was turning red around his cheeks.

"Tempest mayb-" Guard B began.

"Shut up, Caleb! You're not paid to speak."

"You don't pay us at all."

"And with that attitude your not going to be paid!" The leader threw his head towards the brown haired body guard. He looked at the now prisonerless guards, a chocolate skinned man and a bald white man. Tempest let go of Jareds face. He gestured to them, "Get his clothes off of him." The men complied swiftly and silently, grabbing surgical scissors and scalpels exposing his chest, sending the pieces floating on to the ground. Within minutes the boy was naked, giving Zim his first ever view of a human with out his clothes. He didn't know whether to laugh or gag or both. Their bodies _were _apparently covered with hair, the most covering their pectorals slowly narrowing making a light line down their stomachs to their... Zim felt bile rise in his throat. _Oh, yuck._ Once they were done, the leader waved them away. They walked over to help restrain the other prisoner. The bald one scooped up a piece of clothing from the floor and jammed the scrap into the old mans mouth. The guard-Caleb moved his hand over the choking prisoners mouth and whispered a soft "Thanks Trent." to the bald man. Trent nodded a little taking his place beside Caleb. The leader-Tempest?-walked back over to Jared, unscrewed the lid, dipped a glass dropper into the bottle, and pulled it out, the dropper hovering above him. Tempest leaned his head down and whispered so softly Zim knew only he could hear, "Sorry, Jared. Nothing personal, just can't have any lose ends. No hard feelings?"

The Jared boy spoke for the first time, his voice so young and scared it shuddered and cracked, "I nev-ER... putus in... danger." He took a ragged breath. "Everything... I did was... what I thoug.. was right..."

"There's a saying about the best intentions, Jared." Tempest spoke the words gently almost kindly, "_The road to hell is paved with them._ **_Tell me how it looks when you get there_**."

He squeezed the dropper.

The boy howled, his back arching as drop by drop the liquid fell out onto his face. Zim would've liked to cover his antennae but couldn't risk dropping Gir. So he heard the boy scream, his voice rising and falling on a same continuing breath. Where the liquid fell, it fell through him. Resting gently at first on his pale skin, then ate it's way through turning skin rose pink then red then maroon brown, at last burning through his skin onto his pink muscles then swiftly gaining speed and burning down to his skull. Zim felt wonder and DISGUST and bile rise up into his mouth. He wished Tempest or someone would _shut him up _or something. The boys screams echoed around him, in Zims antennae he could hear every wobble of his never ending agony in every note. Finally, Zim couldn't hold it. He managed to open the top of his slaves head and puke inside the container, the bitter stomach acid with a horrid grape after taste expelled itself up his throat and out of him. Gir was quivering beneath him. Zim had never been weak or squeamish (something he was proud of) but this was... _gross_. He was an invader, he knew that. Invaders do not get wussy. But this-he felt another wave of vomit threaten to come up again. He forced himself to not look away as Tempest moved downward towards the boys... parts. The howling got worse. Louder. Harder to listen to. Zim closed the lid, hoping it would contain the wretched smell of puke. Their was a shifting sensation in his arms as Gir turned around and buried his face in his shoulder. He ignored the slaves pathetic attempt for comfort, watching on... waiting for them to stop... waiting for the moment to escape...

He watched on.

After what felt like hours later the screams became shorter.

Raspy-er.

Softer.

Zim looked down numbly. After listening to someone scream so much you become used to it. You learn to think over it as it becomes background noise. It loses its bite after a while. He took one look over at the body and looked down. He was surprised when he heard the quiet breaths of the boy. He looked over at Tempest standing by near death Jared. He didn't notice he was breathing? Why? Zim could only see the top of his head but his breaths were irregular-he was trying to gain control. So that was why. Tempest hunched over, taking a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. He looked around the room freezing as he beheld the mess Zim had made with the file cabinet earlier. He left the table and kicked a stray paper littering the ground. "This place is a dump." There was a brief moment of silence before Tempest blew out a sigh. He straightened himself up suddenly and shouted, "BURN IT! ALL OF IT! NOW!"

The four guards looked unsure of themselves. The brown one asked, "Sir, the boss doesn't like it when you burn stuff."

"Fuck off, Volent." Tempest snapped. He raised his middle finger at the chocolate skinned man. "Just. Fuck. Off. And. Do it! And leave him here too! Better to kill two birds with one stone than deal with one of the birds later." He pointed a blue finger at the gagged old man. The old man didn't even notice when the arms relinquished their grip upon him; he sunk down on the ground and held his face in his hands, an action so unfamiliar he couldn't understand it's purpose. Hiding his face wouldn't save him from dying. The fourth guard-a girl with brown hair moved to stand beside Tempest as he walked out of the room. Zim moved slowly and silently down towards the door. Caleb, Volant, and Trent didn't notice him; they were too busy lighting the papers and securing the old man to another operating table. As soon as he touched the floor, Jared moved his head towards the door. Zim froze. The boys face was horrendous, hardly a face at all. Yellow, brown, and red marks with pink borders covered his face and body, any skin that was NOT burned or eaten away had turned a flushed pink. Patches of singed blond hair fell into his face temporarily hiding portions of skin. The boy mouthed something. Zim turned and walked out of the room and looked down the hall in time to see Tempest and the brown haired girl turn right down the hallway. Zim activated his SPYDR legs and used them to walk over top of them, dangling from the ceiling, silent and slow. The female guard spoke first, her voice pealing out like a bell, "You gonna be okay?"

"Should've trusted my instincts." He mumbled under his breath. Tempest shook his head, "I never thought it was him... not Jared-"

"You did what you had to do."

"No. I didn't."

"What-no!" The female objected. She stopped suddenly, turning on the torturer with such fearlessness Zim was sure she was going to pay, but the man stood still as a sculpture. "He was a traitor-"

"No, he wasn't." Tempest shook his head, staring down at the floor. He heard the woman give a sharp intake. _He wasn't a traitor._ Zim tried to wrap his head around the purpose of the little exercise. Tempest looked up at her, shoving his hands in his pockets angrily. His voice rang off the stone walls "The papers on the floor, someone was looking for something. I don't know why or what they were looking for but they were looking for something... and they couldn't find it. Jared was with you, correct? So it couldn't have been him."

Shaking, the woman backed away, "No. No. Nono, no, no, no! This was-I didn't-we didn't. Of course not how could we? This... is bad." Though Zim could only see the top of her he could tell she was distraught; he could smell her fear, her tears. Stupid emotional bags of filth. Absolutely no self control. Zim silently wretched in disgust. The girls voice echoed, "It couldn't have been him. The moles still inside." She finally noticed that the whole time Tempest had stood staring at his hands, cloaked in blue rubber, turning them over and back, over and back. She took a step closer to Tempest and, for some reason, reached out and touched his arm with such timidness it was sad. "Hey... it's okay. It's... a mistake-but it's not your fault. How could we know? How could _you_ know? We're going to be okay. How could you know?"

"Hannah... "

"... yes?"

"... Thank you." Tempest reached a gloved hand out and interlocked his fingers in hers. Zim watched confused as they closed the gap between them and walked side side down the tunnels, glowing green crystals turning the yellow in Tempests hair a sick yellow green. They stopped at a blue door and went inside. Zim followed. Inside was an office with a computer on a white metal desk. There was a strange grey floor to ceiling locker thingy near the door. Zim carefully opened the door and slid inside. It was dark inside, and queit. He could hear his light breathing around him. He backed deeper into the locker thingy, surprised by how far back he was able to go before touching a soft wall.

"_Occupodo_!" a whisper shot out into the darkness. Zim turned and found him face to face with a pair of glowing red eyes. Zims eyes narrowed till the world was seen through tiny slits, "_You? What're you doing here_?"

_**Life is simple.**_

_**We just insist on complicating it.**_

_**-Dorian Innes**_

_**Sorry for the mix up and to all those who read my previous one and thought "WHAT THE F!" . The calamity has ended, the hospital is shutting down, the war is over, the dump has exploded, you can stop sending me nasty PMs now.**_


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